Tiney Dicks

Tiney Dicks
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2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
The city’s least visually impressive pageant is back with some more truly tiny tiddlers
Apparently, the Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant is a grower. The second annual event drew a fat line that stretched halfway down Seigel Street in Bushwick this past Saturday, and those who were lucky enough to fit into the diminutive Kings County Bar were treated to MC Chicken Bitches' sweet and sharp tongue, great music and the effervescence of burlesque performer Cherry Pitz. The main event, of course, was the interaction between the audience, judges and those boys brave enough to bare their modest members. Judges this year included L.A. talk-show host Caroline Fox, sex educator Kendall McKenzie and Bobbie Chaset, the owner of Kings County Bar and mastermind behind the pageant.
RECOMMENDED: Full coverage on the Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant The pool of contestants were whittled down to five after a casual screening process, with the lucky (or unlucky, depending on your point of view) finalists comprising of the somewhat twisted Puzzle Master, the cocky Rufio, returning contestant the incognito “Peter Parker,” all-American blond “Twig N’ Berries" and the benevolent Indian “Raj Kumar.” The group were then asked such revealing questions as their favorite sexual position and their responses were saucily evaluated by the judges. Extra points were handed out for originality (and in some cases, their appreciation of cunnilingus). During this hard-hitting opening round, Raj Kumar got points knocked off for being too cutesy, while Peter Parker—the only masked contestant this year—played the awkward wacko card to great effect. Charisma, wit and sweetness, however, won out over showboating or a pretty face. Astoria comedy band Afterbirth Monkey provided intermission entertainment with songs about—you guessed it—penis size, complete with plastic penis water guns and balloon-art dicks. Once the second round of judging was underway, the guys paraded across the bar wearing dainty mesh tangas. Though always fully covered, this costume change revealed the family jewels most clearly, and honestly, Rufio might as well have been disqualified for not being nearly small enough. Cherry Pitz graced the bar top with two intermission burlesque sets, which provided an appetizer for the talent portion of the afternoon. The Puzzle Master performed a surprisingly smooth tease and tuck routine, which won him high scores with both the judges and the audience. Peter Parker broke a sweat with a characteristically awkward but high-spirited break-dancing number, dressed head to toe in a Spider-Man costume. Rufio read punny jokes from his iPhone with surprising charm, while Twig N’ Berries sang an uncomfortable, flat-falling duet with Cherry Pitz, then tried to get the audience back with some yoga moves. Raj Kumar donned a traditional Indian costume and displayed his agility in a Bollywood-tinged dance routine that seduced judge Caroline Fox, who joined him onstage for a bump and grind. As ever, the act with the lowest score won, and audience favorite and New Delhi native Raj Kumar—a 28-year-old Fulbright scholar who lives on the Upper East Side and works in digital advertising—romped away with the win. Last year’s winner, Nick Gilronan, returned to the stage to present Kumar with the glitter encrusted, penis-spired crown amidst a terrible stench of sewage, which, by all accounts, is a pageant tradition (we didn’t feel like enquiring further). Kumar seemed genuinely touched at the turnout and oddly proud of his new title. See all the photos of the event in the slideshow above (very much not NSFW), or check out the photos from last year's pageant right here .
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National Archaeological Museum, Athens
Statue of a Kouros , 6th century B.C.
National Archaeological Museum, Athens
The Farnese Hercules, copy of The Weary Hercules by Lysippos , 3rd century B.C.
Naples National Archaeological Museum, Naples
Statue of a Victorious Youth , 300 -100 BCE
Hagesandros, Polydoros, and Athanadoros of Rhodes
Laocoön and His Sons, as restored today (probably the original or a Roman copy) , 1st century A.D.
Musei Vaticani, Museo Pio Clementino, Rome
Guerrier combattant, dit le "Gladiateur Borghèse" (Fighting Warrior, called "Borghese Gladiator") , c. 100 BC
How Bernini Captured the Power of Human Sexuality in Stone
What Art History Can Tell Us about Female Beauty Ideals
How Art Has Depicted the Ideal Male Body throughout History
The ancient Greeks famously fetishized the male body in sculptures that represent powerful, illustrious men as hulking figures with taut, rippling muscles. Sometimes these figures appear partially clothed in drapery or cloth; often, they are stark naked.
To the contemporary eye, their bodies are ideal—except for one, ahem, seminal detail. “They have small to very small penises, compared to the average of humanity,” art historian Andrew Lear, a specialist in ancient Greek art and sexuality, says. “And they’re usually flaccid.”
Countless contemporary art lovers and historians have been struck by the modest nature of the phalluses that feature in classical sculptures of gods, emperors, and other elite men—from Zeus to celebrated athletes. The small members seem at odds with the massive bodies and mythically large personalities they accompany. But the ancient Greeks had their reasons for this aesthetic choice.
Rewind to the ancient Greek world of around 400 BC, and you’ll find that large, erect penises were not considered desirable, nor were they a sign of power or strength. In his play The Clouds (c. 419–423 BC) , ancient Greek playwright Aristophanes summed up the ideal traits of his male peers as “a gleaming chest, bright skin, broad shoulders, tiny tongue, strong buttocks, and a little prick.”
Historian Paul Chrystal has also conducted research into this ancient ideal. “The small penis was consonant with Greek ideals of male beauty,” he writes in his book In Bed with the Ancient Greeks (2016). “It was a badge of the highest culture and a paragon of civilization.”
In ancient Greek art, most of a great man’s features were represented as ample, firm, and shiny—so why weren’t these same aesthetic principles applied to the penis? As Lear and other historians suggest, part of the answer lies in how the phalluses of less admirable men were portrayed.
Attributed to the Pisticci Painter, Terracotta bell-krater (mixing bowl), ca. 430–410 B.C. Courtesy of The Metropolitan Museum of Art.
Terracotta amphora (jar), ca. 500–490 B.C. Courtesy of The Metropolitan Museum of Art.
Lustful, depraved satyrs, in particular, were rendered with very large, erect genitals, sometimes almost as tall as their torsos. According to mythology, these creatures were part-man, part-animal, and totally lacked restraint—a quality reviled by Greek high society. “Big penises were vulgar and outside the cultural norm, something sported by the barbarians of the world,” writes Chrystal. Indeed, across many an amphora pot and frieze, well-endowed satyrs can be seen drinking and pleasuring themselves with abandon.
In Greek comedy, fools also routinely sported large genitals—“the sign of stupidity, more of a beast than a man,” according to Chrystal. So, too, did artistic representations of the Egyptians, says Lear, who were long-time enemies of the Greeks.
In this way, satyrs, fools, and foes served as foils to male gods and heroes, who were honored for their self-control and intelligence (along with other qualities requiring restraint, like loyalty and prudence). If large phalluses represented gluttonous appetites, then “the conclusion can be drawn that the small, flaccid penis represented self-control,” explains Lear.
While today, being well-endowed is often equated with power and even sound leadership, “the penis was never a badge or virility or manliness in ancient Greece as it was in other cultures,” Chrystal writes. “Potency came from the intellect needed to power man’s responsibility to father children, prolong the family line and the oikos [the family unit or household], and sustain the polis [the city-state].”
There is no doubt that across ancient Greek art, the representation of the phallus—and its varying size—was symbolic. As Lear suggests, this might hint at why artists of the age depicted male nudes so often, even when a character or narrative might not require it. “They used the penis as an index of character,” explains Lear. “It said something.”
Back then, it indicated whether or not a man was upstanding. But while the cultural symbolism of the penis has since shifted, some things haven’t changed. Then, as now, the male sex was seen to be the distillation of a man’s ability to dominate.

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Photo : Georges Biard / Wikimedia Commons / CC BY-SA 3.0
Per their lovers, their own statements, or photographic evidence, this is a list of famous men with small penises - or smaller-than-average penises, at least. The celebs with small dicks might surprise you, like Brad Pitt or Jude Law.
Empire star Terrence Howard is also on this list of the less-than-well-endowed celebrities. However, some of the famous men on this list have done quite well with the ladies, proving the adage that size isn't everything.
Below you will find actors, musicians, TV personalities and other famous people who reportedly don't measure up. Of course, celebrity dick sizes aren't everything. Though, if you're curious, you could always take a gander at the list of celebrities with the (allegedly) biggest packages .
What is perfection? Is it Brad Pitt's beautiful mane in Legends of the Fall ? Is it his weird goatee? According to Juliette Lewis it wasn't his Pitt penis. While Juliette was playing a show in Hollywood with her band The Licks someone asked her about Brad Pitt's junk (they dated at one point) and she answered: "He was no. . . BIG deal , if ya know what I mean!”
Terrence Howard, the star of Empire and Hustle and Flow was forced to tell the world about his small penis because his wife was going to use it against him in court. Not cool! Howard said he was being blackmailed and that he recorded his then-wife saying that she could “get $2 million right now” for putting his “ little dick out there in front of TV. ”
The star of the Transformers and Nymphomaniac franchises has admitted that he doesn't have the largest penis. In 2009 he told a reporter that when he lost his virginity he tried out a move the he saw from a porn and it didn't work - because of his penis . “I remember putting a pillow underneath her because I had seen that in a porn movie…[It] put her at a weird angle, where I couldn’t get in correctly. I’m not extremely well-endowed … and clearly this wasn’t the move.” For having such a small penis Shia sure acts like a huge dick.
Oh no you guys. Jude Law got caught with his pants down by the paparazzi and it didn't look great. Interestingly enough, Jude's Law (YOU'RE WELCOME 2005) caused enough of a stir at the time that people legitimately argued about whether or not it was actually small. There were honest to goodness think pieces written about how it was good that Jude Law wasn't well endowed. Here's a quote from one writer who probably just slamming his hands on his keyboard like a Muppet:
" Why can't we all share a nice laugh over the pictures, and allow ourselves to feel slightly better about our own terribly unfabulous lives, if just for a cheap moment, by imagining that maybe, just maybe, we live in a world in which a man with riches, fame, looks so good he turns us gay for 10 seconds each time we gaze into his eyes, a hot actress girlfriend, and a horny child care provider with loose morals, has not also been blessed with twelve rigid inches of nanny-punishing manhood?"

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