Tinder Quickie
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Tinder Quickie
By
Chris Haven ,
February 10th 2014
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If you’re a single guy and not living under a rock, then you’ve probably heard of the dating or rather hook up app called Tinder. Tinder is basically an application that lets you like or dislike profiles of people by swiping right for “like” or left for “nope”. Tinder lets users upload pictures from their Facebook profile and also adds a snippet of information from their profile as well.
Although women are on tinder for different reasons, tinder is in my opinion better for one night stands than OKCupid or PlentyofFish because subconsciously, women view Tinder as a “hook-up” app”.
The goals of this guide are simple:
Tinder is possibly the most superficial dating app out there and it works so well for precisely that reason.
I signed up to tinder and after a few weeks of tinkering around, I must say I’ve become quite good at it.
Basically, in the last 3 days, I’ve been on four “Tinder Dates” and hooked up with two of the four women. All four were attractive – not as attractive as women I’d approach in person, but attractive enough to hook up with. The week before that, I met five girls from tinder and hooked up with one.
After extensive tweaking and a LOT of messages sent out, I’ve developed a surefire way to get dates and more specifically, hook up with girls from Tinder.
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Is it really a stretch to conclude that many on Tinder look for companionship based on looks? That is how the app is set up – you swipe through pics of potential dates and decide whether or not you'd be interested in dating the person in question solely on the basis of a photo.
Enter dating website Simple Pickup. Simple Pickup conducted a social experiment with the popular online dating app. They created profiles of a thin man and thin woman and "fattened them up" using prosthetics and padding to make them look significantly bigger than they did in photos.
The results? The guys that showed up were anywhere on the spectrum from rude to hateful re: their date's appearance, with only one of the five men willing to stay on the date with the woman.
The women, on the other hand, were.. nicer . While all were shocked at how different their date looked from his photo, none fat-shamed their male companion. In fact, three of the women saw their date through to the end, and said they'd be interested in going on another date with him. One of the women even gave the guy a kiss.
Frankly, we were shocked that no one in the experiment knew their potential dates were wearing fat suits to begin with! Watch below.
An FSU student named Jules decided to delete her Tinder account after receiving this missive from a potential suitor named Derek.
Derek sent Jules two options. In the first possible future, they would date, fall in love, marry and have children only to hate each other and divorce with the kids resenting them for their terrible upbringing, or they could just have a quickie with a condom and move on with their lives. And you thought romance was dead!
Kirra Cheers, a photographer from Brooklyn, decided to document her Tinder dates on camera. She went on 17 dates over the course of two months and the resulting series shows what it's like to navigate modern dating, on both a personal and universal level. "I wanted to document my own experience so that people can compare it to their own," she said.
Cheers said that the dates helped her to explore her city more, but by the end of the social experiment, she had a bit of Tinder burnout. "First dates are hard enough, but the added pressure of the project made me more nervous than usual. Putting myself in that position night in, night out was exhausting both emotionally and physically."
Britney Spears split up with boyfriend David Lucado in late summer 2014, and is ready to date again with the help of Jimmy Fallon. During a recent appearance on The Tonight Show With Jimmy Fallon , she played a game called "The Pros & Cons of Dating Britney Spears." Fallon also surprised her with her own Tinder account which he set up for her. Her Tinder bio? "This better work, bitch."
Spears is not the only celebrity to have a profile – Lily Allen, Katy Perry and Lindsay Lohan do as well. (Much to her embarrassment, Lohan was even matched with her own brother!)
If basing who you date on appearances alone isn't shallow enough for you, how about basing a budding romance on a perspective suitor's financial status?
Currently, there are men seeking love (and jobs) by posting photos of their resumes (and bank accounts) to the dating site. 21-year-old James Shamsi, a recent graduate of King's College, London relocated to L.A., put his CV on Tinder, and is getting a lot of response from companies. Shami said, he's "fielded offers from two small L.A.-based start-ups,” but emphasized that he is still “waiting for that one perfect position.”
That's right – a peek at your job history or finances can indeed get you an interview – or a coffee date.
Meet Patrick Bateman from American Psycho , or as he's known in the real world, anonymous Tinder user "Tom." Tom starts things off with a rather unsavory offer, and takes it none too kindly when he's rejected. If only she knew he made $32k in just a few short months!
It's the law of averages – if you ask more people out, you may still get a lot of noes, but you'll definitely get more yeses.
Tinder dater Andrew Sink has turned this theory into practice with his Tinder-o-Matic, a mechanical finger that automatically says yes to every woman on the dating site by right swiping her photo. While we humans are limited by our manual dexterity and our interest, the finger can swipe up to 900 profile likes in an hour.
"Obviously, the best (and intended) way to use the app is to read someones profile and see if you share any common interests or hobbies," Sink says, he just wanted to make the process more efficient.
25-year-old Australian Jarrod Allen joined Tinder in hopes of meeting a special someone, but didn't have much luck. Instead of become disillusioned, he found a treasure trove of photos begging to imitated, and set about posting his versions of those pictures to his Instagram, Tindafella . Needless to say, his account has since gone viral.
Rich? Single? Longing for companionship? Want to meet that special someone that makes over $200,000? Check out Luxy, the dating app for rich people.
A somewhat offensive press release circulated by Luxy describes the app as "Tinder minus the poor people."
"It works just like Tinder," said Luxy's anonymous CEO, "With one big exception: Our app allows users to weed out the poor and unattractive."
How do they do this? It is possible for anyone to say they make over $200k and create a profile, but Luxy's got that covered too. Without a shred of humility, the CEO of LUXY continued, "it's about time somebody introduced a filter to weed out low-income prospects by neighborhood."
In July 2014, a Baton Rouge man was arrested and charged with rape after having met the victim on Tinder.
The victim told a detective in the East Baton Rouge Parish Sheriff's Office that she met Jacob Hirsch Witz, whom she knew only as “Jake,” on the dating app. The couple met at her apartment, where the casual encounter soon turned violent. Witz, 22, became aggressive, tearing her clothes, and raping her as she begged him to stop. Afterward, he made her delete all the text messages they exchanged, and forced her to bathe while he watched. Just before leaving, he said, " “Pretend this did not happen. Don't tell anybody. I did not rape you. I got to get out of here.”
In August 2014, Witz posted $75,000 bail and has since hired a lawyer.
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"What idiot named it Tinder and not Quickiepedia?"
According to tinder, every guy is at a lake holding a fish & every girl is on top of a mountain & that's why it's so tragically hard to meet
When you run out of people to swipe on Tinder, your camera should turn on and force you to look at what you've become.
*finds soulmate*
*swipes left in hopes of finding a hotter soulmate*
Hinder: an app that locates available singles nearby who will stall your life in some significant way
You're using Tinder to make friends? That's cool, I'm at the bus stop waiting for a train.
What idiot named it Tinder and not Quickiepedia?
"Tinder is ridiculous. People should be forming relationships in real life," I tweet
If you swipe Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right B A on Tinder you unlock your soulmate.
A Tinder but for dogs in your area you could meet and pet
Tinder is great if you want to simulate the feeling of being rejected by women without having to leave the comfort of your own house
i love weird tinder
[swipes left on a hot girl]
[swipes right on a crayon drawing of a dog]
[it's a match]
oh hell yeah
If tinder has taught me one thing it's that there is an extraordinary amount of single girls named Shelby that love to ride horses
Tinder is what happens when you feed eHarmony Bud Light Lime-A-Rita after midnight
Congratulations! You have a new match on Tinder!
Date: So… Tinder, huh?
Me: Yup.
Date: …
Me: This is kind of awkward.
Date: Maybe we should’ve used real pictures.
Me: You think so, MOM?
"I would kill on tinder"
-psychopath, blending in perfectly.
"You guys on tinder?" - fun thing to say to people burning at the stake
Your Tinder date didn't go well?
That's so weird. You'd think someone using GPS technology to fuck strangers would be 100% balanced.
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