Tinder For Threeways

Tinder For Threeways
'Thrinder', Tinder For Three-Ways, Raises $500K
If you're of the (closed) mind that two's company and three's a crowd, dating app 3nder , pronounced "Thrinder," would like you to "Kink Different." Like Tinder, but with a partner or solo, you can peruse and chat up another potential partner (or partners), and in this case if all parties approve you've got a match for your possible ménage à trois.
As Re/Code writes , the London-based app, which has options for a variety of sexual orientations and gender identities, has itself just gotten lucky to the tune of $500,000 in angel investments from undisclosed parties.
Privacy is important in such matters, of course — and Thrinder vows to protect yours. Further, really sticking it to the binary system, you can even wipe in a variety of directions. Your information is culled from Facebook, but you can choose to use a name other than the one you've got on Facebook if you choose.
The New York Post reports that Bulgarian-born Dimo Trifonov, the app's 25-year-old founder, has achieved one million downloads on 3nder, which he founded in part because of his girlfriend's expressed interest in another woman. Now, users the world over are sending about 1.2 million messages a month on 3nder — and though that's small relative to the likes of its namesake Tinder, revenue is up 500 percent since 3nder's 2014 launch. Subscribers pay about $13 month for the privilege, after all.
Tirfonov points to the relative seediness of his competition as the impetus for his clean, clear design. “I wanted to create this minimal, futuristic product," he tells Re/code. "All these sites for swingers, “have-a-threesome-dot-com” and all this kind of crap — they all use super-outdated technology. They have this scammy business plan where they create fake users to generate revenue from men, so this is how they survive... We create this thing that’s affordable, there’s nothing sexualized. We don’t have naked girls, we don’t advertise naked girls.”
Venturebeat rung a note of doubt about 3nder last year, with J. O'Dell writing as "possibly the most sex-positive person on our team" that "I think using technology for a situation as delicate as a threesome just zaps the humanity right out of it — as well as the mystery — rendering the whole experience less pleasurable for all parties involved."
You know, they used to say that about Tinder, too.

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The only thing worse than a late-night booty call from a guy is a late-night booty call from a guy…and his wife.
According to my Tinder profile, I’m looking for someone who is into skinny-dipping, respects my deep belief that Mercury Retrograde is real, and is willing to listen to my constant complaints about how my succulents keep dying (or maybe, like, help keep them alive). Six nights ago, I was pretty sure I’d found this person. I mean, her Spotify anthem was “Dreams,” by Fleetwood Mac, which is my go-to karaoke song. Need I say more?
But when I opened the app, I had a message from somebody else. High on dopamine, I clicked.
“Wow. We would love to have you between us. So sexy.”
I’d unknowingly stepped right onto that infamous Tinder land mine: a hetero couple looking for a third. As a queer femme, I can’t be on any dating app these days without seeing straight couples soliciting women for a threesome, a throuple, or whatever they’re calling it now. This is referred to as “unicorn hunting,” because the queer who’s down to be a living sex toy for a straight couple is a mythical creature indeed. Yet the word “bisexual” on my profile seems to make people assume that since I’m into both types of genitals, I also want to come to their condo, get them off, and never talk to them again. All for free!
There aren’t official stats on how many unicorn hunters are stalking their prey on apps these days, but if I had to guess, I’d say it’s somewhere between a lot and too many. To arrive at a not-at-all-scientific number, I asked my friend to count the couples she saw while using Tinder over the course of one night. Within 5 minutes, she’d seen 3; within 30 minutes, 10. This seems about right. I’ve been single for three years and I’ve used dating apps for most of that time. Unicorn hunters have always been out there, but lately, we seem to be reaching peak throuple.
Spotting out-and-proud unicorn hunters is pretty easy. Their profiles, often under the woman’s name, are predictable: First comes the unicorn bait—a photo of the woman alone looking flirty or mirror selfies with her butt looking right. But flip to the next pic and there she is attached to her boyfriend or husband, sometimes even making out with him.
Unicorn hunters have always been out there, but lately, we seem to be reaching peak throuple.
The couple often claims to be “open-minded” or “looking for a great woman for some casual fun.” Some write that they are “searching for our [insert unicorn emoji]” which is a little on the nose, if you ask me. It’s pretty typical to see them sharing their zodiac sign too. (As if I would ever have a threesome with two Capricorns.) They always present as pseudo-woke, never just saying outright that they’re trying to hook up. No, they’re “looking to connect” and “explore our bodies together.” Sometimes it’s hard to tell if they want a casual threesome or a spiritual retreat.
Take this profile I saw recently, reprinted here word for word:
“M is a truly amazing sexy sensual caring sweetheart ready to explore with a beautiful soulful woman. She is truly a master of conscious touch and communication. T is an awesome, potent, and attuned man. A rare force of goodness, depth, and fun.”
Potent and attuned? To what? Am I supposed to get wet over how sensitive this man is? I’ll let you guess how well that worked. I’ll also let you know that my vagina was a bone-dry desert.
To their credit, unicorn hunters are committed to their cause. A while back, I went out of town for a few weeks and didn’t check Tinder. When I got back, I had some new messages, including from this very thirsty couple:
“You there? We think you’re really hot.”
“?????? Don’t leave us hanging! We want to meet you.”
How boring is their sex life? Let’s be real—I’m cute but not that cute.
Queerness to them was something racy, scandalous, and exotic—something to experiment with for the night.
Occasionally, I match with a camouflaged couple, and these are harder to weed out. I’ll swipe right on a woman, start a conversation with her, and then out of the blue, she’ll say, “Hey, so my boyfriend and I are looking for a third. I showed him your profile and he’s down. Are you?” There are often one or three or five winky faces involved. I unmatch immediately and move on.
Usually, the constant bombardment by these couples is the emotional equivalent of a mosquito buzzing in my ear: annoying but harmless. But sometimes it makes me feel angry, exhausted, and violated. Once, after a particularly queerphobic visit to a gynecologist, I came home, opened Tinder, saw a couple seeking a femme third for a “fun adventure,” and burst out crying. It just seemed so flippant. Queerness to them was something racy, scandalous, and exotic—something to experiment with for the night. But I’ve almost been fired for being queer. I’ve been physically assaulted for being queer. And just that day, I’d had to explain to a doctor that my gender— I’m non-binary —is real.
It’s not that I don’t also fantasize about group sex. But these couples are looking for me to enter their fantasy—not help me live out mine. The expectation is that the unicorn is a transitory visitor who won’t mess up their relationship. They make the rules and the unicorn must abide. It never crosses their minds that I’m an actual human with feelings who is looking for love—or at least someone to share a glass of wine with. I’m not a one-dimensional sex object.
Many queer women and femmes agree with me and are vocal about their dislike for these couples. Some even write “I’m not your unicorn” on their profiles—or my personal favorite: “I’m not interested in fixing your relationship’s sex deficit.” Others tell me that I should stop using Tinder altogether. But this bums me out. I know the world’s not fair, but Tinder is the only app that lets me pick a gender other than man or woman—and this matters to me. And anyway, I see those couples creeping on Bumble and Hinge too.
I know we’re living in a time when sex openness is more of a thing, and even couples want to get in on the action. I’m all for it—I’m truly not trying to sex-shame anyone. But hey, heteros: There are specific apps for couples seeking threesomes. I looked it up while writing this article and it took me less than a minute to find three solid options.
A few nights ago, I was at my local bar drinking tequila on the rocks when that cool Fleetwood-Mac-loving woman finally responded to the message I’d sent her. “Any interest in meeting up with me and my boyfriend tonight? We think we’d have a lot of fun.”
Defeated and a little drunk, I deleted all my apps on the spot. I decided that for now, I’m just going to put it out into the universe that I’m single and looking. And by universe, I mean a shameless plug in a national publication. Unicorn hunters need not apply.

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Check out these online tools for some group fun.
Threesomes and group sex appear to be less taboo and more of a viable option to try out something new in the bedroom, yet trying to arrange a ménage à trois can still be difficult.
Indeed, a 2016 study in the Archives of Sexual Behavior found that 82 percent of men and 31 percent of women surveyed were interested in at least one kind of threesome; but only 24 percent of men and 8 percent of the women had participated in a threesome of some sort.
Thankfully, there are a some apps that make organizing a threeway as easy as one-two-three.
Feeld originally got considerable media attention when it first debuted as 3nder in 2016, but it soon rebranded after being sued by Tinder . The original vision of the app was to be specifically for threesomes, but since the public image overhaul it has opened up its scope and is more about providing a community for the “kinky, curious, and openminded.”
The app is designed to be a private space where both individuals and couples can be introduced to those with similar sexual interests. It uses Facebook to verify its users, while also giving users the opportunity to hide their Feeld profiles from friends on the social network for privacy reasons. Along with the typical single chats and matches, people can also start group chats — perfect for coordinating some multi-person shenanigans.
Another app on the market that’s more explicitly marketed to those wanting some threeway fun is 3Somer. Calling itself the “Tinder for couples, singles and swingers,” the app functions like the typical dating apps, with a swipe-for-match interface. What’s interesting about the app is that profiles are set up in a manner like Facebook profiles. Users can post photos and status updates, giving possible suitors more of an idea of who they are.
However, it looks like one con to the app is that there aren’t tons of users. One reviewer writes in the App Store, “This has been a great app, it works well and is easy to use. When more people sign up I’m sure my matches will go up.”
“The basic idea is that it’s dating by fantasy,” says NEWPL founder Andriy Yaroshenko. “It’s an app for people in non-monogamous relationships or alternative relationships . These people are sex positive, open-minded. Often they need an instrument to find couples and singles who are also sex positive and open-minded.”
NEWPL works much like Feeld since it bases connections off sexual fantasies. After setting up a profile, users can mark which kinks they’re into. That includes things like roleplay, domination, and yes, threesomes as well. Yaroshenko is hoping to build a community of sex positive people, both couples and singles, to find others that are open to exploring their heart’s (and nether regions’) desires. People can also share stories of their sexual escapades, which are available on their profiles, so other users can see their past experiences and their thoughts on them. Currently, NEWPL is only in beta but will be fully launching sometime soon.
It makes sense that a lot of these more niche apps would be modeled after Tinder, arguably the most popular dating app on the market. At the same time, good ol’ Tinder could also be used to find threesome opportunities.
There are some pretty good guides out there for couples trying to customize their profile to reel in a unicorn. Overall, it’s all about transparency: having clear photos of both members of the couple and being explicit about being interested in playtime with other people in the profile description. The same rules apply for singles looking for group play. By being upfront in the search for threesomes, all involved parties will hopefully be able to match.
Similar tactics go for other dating apps like Grindr and OkCupid, where people can write in that they’re interested in group fun or hooking up with other couples. These platforms are less specifically designed for finding threesomes and instead are just large networks where interested users can cast a wide net.
Currently available only for Android devices, the UnderCovers app isn’t for finding a threesome. It’s for couples who want to start having open discussions about possibly having group sex along with a slew of other fantasies. Two partners indicate which fantasies and kinks they’re interested in exploring, and the app will reveal which ones both people would like to indulge in. Simply having a conversation involving threesome play can be awkward or embarrassing, so UnderCovers can help mitigate those feelings.
It might be old school, but Craigslist could also prove to be a useful resource for dabbling in some threeway play. Under the casual encou
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Tinder For Threeways

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