Timid Teen

Timid Teen

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Originally published November 24, 2018 at 5:02 pm

Updated December 26, 2018 at 1:06 pm

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Heidi Groover : 206-464-8273 or hgroover@seattletimes.com ; on Twitter: @heidigroover .
Diana Cruz, who grew up caring for her younger siblings and now has kids of her own, found more community than judgment at Atlantic Street Center, a nonprofit helped by reader donations to The Seattle Times Fund For The Needy.
On Diana Cruz’s first visit to Atlantic Street Center, she didn’t say much.
Leading up to that moment, “everybody who saw me and knew I was pregnant at the age of 14 just wrote me off,” Cruz said.
“It’s a new place,” she remembers thinking. “I don’t know anybody. I’ll just stay quiet. No one wants to hear my story.”
But as she listened to a group of other young parents share their highs and lows from the week, Cruz found more community than judgment. “Seeing other people, what they went through in life,” Cruz said. “Some of it I can relate to.”
Over the next two years, attending regular meetings at the center featuring meals, child care and community, Cruz opened up. She grew “from that young woman who was timid to this one who’s vocal, who’s taken charge of her life,” said Michelle Mitchell-Brannon, youth-development and education-program manager at the Atlantic Street Center, one of 12 organizations that benefit from The Seattle Times Fund For The Needy .
Atlantic Street Center provides services for children and families, including home visits for parents with young children, services for teen parents and a support group for people caring for the children of relatives.
Samples of what your donation can buy:
$25: One-week supply of formula for a baby
$50: A month of bus fare for a teen parent to get to school or work; rental screening fees
$100: A hot, nutritious meal for teens and their babies once a week at weekly Teens as Parents Programs support-group sessions; two nights of safe shelter
$200: Six hours of homework assistance; utility assistance for a family; rental deposit; eight hours of tutoring
Cruz, 22, grew up often caring for her younger siblings before she was separated from them in a custody fight. As a new parent, she again found herself the caretaker. The staff at Seattle’s Atlantic Street reminded her to think about her own needs, too.
“Once you’re a mom, you make yourself little,” Cruz said in a recent interview, patiently eyeing her daughters, 4 and 7, as they pinballed around a coffee shop. “They make you feel like you’re important.”
The Teens as Parents Program offers the essentials, like diapers, plus case management and parenting-skills training.
“If it’s you against the world, it’s so much harder to get past that obstacle than when you have someone to push you,” said Mitchell-Brannon, who runs the program and herself was a teenage parent.
That guidance sometimes means checking up on young parents in school, staying out with them all night if they can’t find a shelter, or showing up when a young parent is experiencing domestic violence. Some days Mitchell-Brannon attends custody proceedings; other days, graduations.
“Every day, I think about how can I affect some change,” she said.
That spirit extends throughout Atlantic Street’s programs, which include counseling, home visits for parents with young children, rental assistance and support for people taking care of a family member’s children.
Jessie Lofton is caring for three young children of a family member who she says is using drugs and can’t care for them. Lofton, who lives on a fixed income, has taken in the three girls, ages from 3 to 6, and is trying to get custody of a fourth. “I wouldn’t want my babies separated,” she said.
For help with diapers, clothes and navigating the custody process, she has turned to Atlantic Street Center.
“I don’t know what I would do without them,” Lofton said. “There wasn’t much I needed that they didn’t help supply.”
Atlantic Street Center has operated for more than 100 years and last year served more than 5,000 people, including 62 young parents in the Teens as Parents Program, according to the agency. The center is serving more clients every year, according to a spokesman. The organization’s annual budget is funded primarily through government grants and donations.
Mitchell-Brannon said her program is consistently in need of basic supplies like diapers, wipes and formula as well as financial help to fund housing-application fees, meals and transportation.
Cruz first entered the Teens as Parents Program in 2012 or 2013 after moving into a housing program for young parents that required them to take parenting classes, she said. A van arrived one evening to take her to Atlantic Street. “Since that day, my life has been changed,” she said.
Cruz said Mitchell-Brannon has helped her find housing and encouraged her to get her GED and enroll in a barista-training program that helped her get her first job at Starbucks.
“She told me I was smart,” Cruz said. “Those words weren’t easy to hear. No one ever told me I was smart or beautiful. They were waiting for my downfall. Michelle wants me to go up. She expects me to grow.”
Even with Mitchell-Brannon’s support, Cruz’s path hasn’t always been linear. She has been in and out of housing, employment and a dangerous relationship since her start at Atlantic Street Center. But the program has offered consistency — and someone she knew she could call.
When her boyfriend’s abuse left her with one side of her face swollen, unable to move her jaw and too afraid to call the cops, she remembers thinking: “No more. I’m done.”
Of Atlantic Street, Cruz said, “They’ve been there through the bad, through the pretty, through every little detail.”
Cruz recently moved out of Seattle and is staying with family and looking for a new job. She still stays in touch with Mitchell-Brannon. Eventually, she hopes to become a nurse in a neonatal intensive-care unit.
“With Michelle behind me,” she said. “I know I can do anything.”

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Some people welcome new experiences and new people. They look forward to any opportunity to socialize. They're often the first to introduce themselves and they jump into a conversation easily. Other people are quiet and shy, and prefer to warm up slowly to new people or situations.
Shyness is an emotion that affects how a person feels and behaves around others. Shyness can mean feeling uncomfortable, self-conscious, nervous, bashful, timid, or insecure. People who feel shy sometimes notice physical sensations like blushing or feeling speechless, shaky, or breathless.
Shyness is the opposite of being at ease with yourself around others. When people feel shy, they might hesitate to say or do something because they're feeling unsure of themselves and they're not ready to be noticed.
New and unfamiliar situations can bring out shy feelings — like the first day of school, meeting someone new, or speaking in front of a group for the first time. People are more likely to feel shy when they're not sure how to act, don't know how others will react, or when attention is on them. People are less likely to feel shy in situations where they know what to expect, feel sure of what to do or say, or are among familiar people.
Like other emotions, shy feelings can be mild, medium, or intense — depending on the situation and the person. Someone who usually or often feels shy might think of himself or herself as a shy person. People who are shy may need more time to get used to change. They might prefer to stick with what's familiar.
People who are shy often hesitate before trying something new. They often prefer watching others before joining in on a group activity. They usually take longer to warm up to new people and situations.
Sometimes being quiet and introverted is a sign that someone has a naturally shy personality. But that's not always the case. Being quiet is not always the same as being shy.
Shyness is partly a result of genes a person has inherited. It's also influenced by behaviors they've learned, the ways people have reacted to their shyness, and life experiences they've had.
Many people want to reduce their shyness. But people who are naturally shy also have gifts that they might not appreciate in themselves. For example, because shy people may prefer listening to talking, they sometimes become really good listeners (and what friend doesn't appreciate that?!).
People who are shy might also become sensitive to other people's feelings and emotions. Because of their sensitivity and listening skills, many people with a shy personality are especially caring toward others, and interested in how others feel. People often consider them the finest friends.
Of course, some people want to feel less shy so they can have more fun socializing and being themselves around others. If you're trying to become less shy, it can help to remember:
Most naturally shy people can learn to manage their shyness so that it doesn't interfere with what they enjoy doing. They learn to warm up to new people and situations. They develop their friendliness and confidence and get past shy feelings.
But for a few people, shy feelings can be extreme and can seem hard to conquer. When shy feelings are this strong, they prevent a person from interacting, participating in class, and socializing. Instead of warming up after a while, someone with extreme shyness has shy feelings that build into a powerful fear. This can cause a person to avoid social situations and hold back on trying new things or making new friends. Extreme shyness can make it uncomfortable — and seem impossible — to talk to classmates or teachers.
Because extreme shyness can interfere with socializing, it can also affect a person's self-confidence and self-esteem. And it can prevent someone from taking advantage of opportunities or trying new things. Extreme feelings of shyness are often a sign of an anxiety condition called social phobia . People with social phobia often need the help of a therapist to overcome extreme shyness.
Someone with social phobia — or extreme shyness — can overcome it! It takes time, patience, courage, and practice. But it's worth the hard work. The payoff is enjoying more friends, having more fun, and feeling more confident.
We can't change our true inner nature (and who would want to?). If you have a naturally shy style, or if shyness holds you back, you might have to work at developing a sense of ease around new people.
Most people find that the more they practice socializing, the easier it gets. Practicing social skills — like assertiveness ; conversation; and friendly, confident body language — can help people overcome shyness, build confidence, and get more enjoyment from everyday experiences.
Note: All information on KidsHealth® is for educational purposes only. For specific medical advice, diagnoses, and treatment, consult your doctor.
© 1995-2022 The Nemours Foundation. Nemours® and KidsHealth® are registered trademarks of the Nemours Foundation. All rights reserved.
Images provided by The Nemours Foundation, iStock, Getty Images, Veer, Shutterstock, and Clipart.com.

Timid teen sharks stay close to home

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STONY BROOK (US)— Coastal development on tropical islands may threaten shark populations and surrounding ecosystems, according to a new long-term study that finds young sharks are homebodies, staying near their coastal birthplace for many years.
The research focused on intermediate-aged lemon sharks born near the Bimini Islands . Roughly similar in development to human ‘tweens’ and teenagers, the age group tends to be overlooked in shark research and conservation efforts.
Tropical island-nations that sacrifice their nursery habitats to coastal development are therefore likely to lose not only babies but also much older sharks from their local areas, with potentially dire effects on the surrounding ecosystem.
“It takes some sharks more than a decade to reach reproductive age, so we set out to better understand the phase of their development from when they are a couple of years old until they are on the verge of sexual maturity,” says lead author Demian Chapman, shark scientist with the Institute for Ocean Conservation Science at Stony Brook University . “We were very surprised to see that many lemon sharks lingered for years around the island where they were born—often more than half of their development to adulthood.”
Fear of deep water and the bigger predators that live there, combined with abundant prey in the mangroves around Bimini, most likely keeps these island-born sharks in safer waters near home for several years after their birth.
“This means that using marine reserves and other local conservation measures may help protect sharks born around tropical islands for much longer than we thought,” Chapman explains.
He suspects that future research could show that these stay-at-home behavior patterns are common among many shark species that live and breed around tropical islands. “If island communities develop all of their shark nursery habitats, like mangroves, or overfish baby sharks in local waters, then they will subsequently lose a big chunk of the older sharks as well,” he adds.
Despite their fearsome reputation, sharks are essential to healthy oceans. Removing these top-level ocean predators will disrupt the local food web and cause negative consequences for other species and the ecosystem at large.
There could be economic consequences as well. Many tropical islands generate substantial revenue from shark-dive tourism, which this new research suggests will be heavily reliant on sharks born in local nursery areas.
The study, conducted over a 14-year period at the Bimini Biological Field Station , is the cover article in the August issue of Molecular Ecology . From 1995 to 2007, more than 1,700
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