Time To Wake Up, Sisters

Time To Wake Up, Sisters
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Me [19M] with my sister [12F] yesterday night, asked me to cuddle her
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My family is unfortunately not doing as well. We live in a three bedroom apartment. I let my 15 year old sister have her own bedroom, my parents have their own room, and my two sisters (12 and 9) share a bedroom but have different beds.
I sleep on the couch in the living room. Last night, I went to my sisters bedroom when they were all sleeping with their allowance in my hand. If they attend school, do their homework, chores etc. I will put $10.00 under their pillow when they're sleeping. I don't talk to my sisters much, only my 15 year old sister sometimes.
As I approached my 12 year old sisters bed, and slowly began to put money under her pillow, she said my name aloud. She said sleeping on her side facing me. She asked if I could cuddle her - just for tonight. I nodded and went onto her bed. She turned around so I was in a spooning position behind her. I put my right hand around her and we slept together.
When I woke up this morning, I was still spooning her while she was sleeping. I got up and made myself breakfast. That's when it me - what if she was sleep-talking or something. WHat if I imagined what she said. I feel guilty because I know I shouldn't have slept on the same bed as her. Man, this might be an awkward conversation because we don't get along and if I tell her... yeah.
TL;DR; : Feeling guilty for cuddling my sister last night.
It's probably not sexual. She probably just wanted some emotional comfort and you are the one who she can actually trust in your family to give her that support. I wouldn't read anything into it or feel bad about it. She apparently looks up to you quite a lot and is need of some stability given your family situation. I hope you can continue to give it to her. Even if it's not cuddling, maybe just giving her a hug once in a while would do wonders for her wellbeing.
Our relationship is weird though. She always yells at our sisters. She never yells at me but always gives me dirty looks.
Should I talk to her incase something might be wrong or anything? Or just leave it as it is?
It'd cute how you cuddled with your sister. There's nothing wrong as long as it wasn't sexual or anything. But if not then there's nothing wrong
She was shivering a little bit when I started cuddling her but eventually stopped. I just hope she doesn't tell anyone that her 19 year old bro. slept with her when she is angry with me. It could ruin me.
You're just comforting your little sister. There's nothing wrong with that.
As for the relationship, does she yell and give dirty looks for any particular reason? Or is it just all the time? She's 12. She's going through puberty, probably has weird things happening inside and outside her body, and your family is in a tough spot. She's probably just acting out like lots of teen girls do. But she's still just a little girl who needs love and comfort. Just try to catch her alone and ask if everything's going ok or if she needs someone to talk to.
You sound like a great big brother :)
My 15 year old sister never did this.
My 12 year old sister is just... weird. It's been happening a lot even when she was young, where she would ignore me when I tell her to do something. I never hit her or anything. She's always just angry at everyone in our family, especially at our sisters.
I just don't think she likes living with us or would rather have another family.
We aren't that affectionate unfortunately like I know most families are and I don't have time to watch movies and stuff with them. I'm really busy except on Sundays and that is usually when I spend the day shopping with my 15 year old sister and then completing errands.
Why would you feel bad about cuddling with your litter sister? She probably just wanted to comfort with all the family turmoil going on around her. Everyone is always so quick to jump on the "ew, that gross and must be sexual!" bandwagon.
What's wrong with comforting your sister? The way you describe your family situation, she could do with some comfort, just make sure she doesn't become dependent on it.
Unless you're thinking of sexual things...
Ew no, I would never touch/hurt any of my family members in that way.
What do you mean by "become dependent on it?"
everybody needs a cuddle once in a while, even you.
Contrary to popular belief, the world is not full of paedos.
I cuddle the heck out of my siblings. Im in my 30s now and love the heck out of them. Theres nothing wrong with hugs and cuddles.
Our family... we are just the quiet - keep to yourself - sort of family.
Why are you buying a heater and not your parents? You are also giving them an allowance as well, I see. While that is nice of you when and why did you start doing this?
I'm asking because I'm a little concerned about your situation, man. Is your family prepared for the winter? Have enough food?
It's a long story, Mom and Dad are just, they are unemployed and trying to get help with issues. They aren't home much and when they are, we don't talk to them because they are sometimes angry / drunk and can get agitated / aggressive sometimes.
I'm trying my best with keeping food and stuff for our family. It's a lot of hard work, but I won't let my family down.
and he didn't say anything about sharing a bed with you? How did you feel when doing that?
Bro, you're her big brother. From what I read it wasn't sexual. You have no reason to feel bad or worried. Part of being a big brother is offering protection and safety. It's not weird unless you're leaving something out. Just chill man. No one would think anything of it.

Melissa Zdrodowski October 26, 2012









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As sleep consultants, we focus quite a bit on establishing bedtime routines with our client families. Parents seem to have lots of questions about bedtime routines: Why do we need one? When should we start a bedtime routine? What should we include in the routine? How long should it last? What makes a good bedtime routine? Read on…I’ll answer each of these questions right now.
Bedtime routines are great for many reasons. They help our children wind down before bedtime. They signal to our baby that it’s time to sleep. They even help our bodies begin producing sleep-inducing hormones. Children thrive on consistency and routine. The regularity of repeating the same steps in the same way at the same time each night is comforting for most babies and kids.
It’s never too soon to start developing good sleep habits. From our baby’s birth, we can begin using tools and techniques to promote healthy sleep, such as swaddling, having a dark room, sleeping without motion, using white noise, putting our baby down when she is drowsy but awake. When the baby reaches eight weeks is a great time to establish a more organized bedtime routine. It’s also never too late to start a routine, so even if your child is older, you can begin today.
Before I discuss what you should include, I’ll mention what should NOT be part of your routine. No screen time (TV, laptop, iPad, DVD, etc) with bright artificial light within one hour of bedtime. Learn more on TV and sleep here .
OK, now to what to include. Following are my suggestions but your routine doesn’t need to have all of this. Pick those elements that work best for your child and you, and then be consistent.
Start by ending active play and loud noise. Dim the lights or bring your child into the dimly lit bedroom. At our house, we keep the exciting, noisy, active toys in another room so that the bedroom is primarily for relaxing and sleeping.
For many, bedtime routine includes bath. My kids both had really sensitive skin as babies so I couldn’t bathe them every night. Plus my daughter just gets amped up in the tub (big fun!) so bath isn’t officially part of our routine. We just add it in earlier on nights when it’s needed.
Teeth flossing and brushing (for toddlers and up)
Reading stories (make sure to read to your kids at other times during the day so you can limit bedtime stories to one or two)
Turn on white noise (no music for sleeping) and/or nightlight
Diaper change (potty for the older kids)
Special good night words and down in crib or bed.
This depends on your child and your family a bit. We want to give our kids enough time to calm down and transition, spend some quiet quality time with us (if possible), but get them to sleep at a biologically appropriate bedtime . With a long bedtime routine, we risk putting our kids to sleep too late. I believe 15-30 minutes is reasonable. Try working backwards from the ideal sleep time for your child and do what your schedule permits. It’s more important to have a simple routine that you and any other caregivers can follow consistently. Sometimes when I try to rush my kids to bed and skip a step or two, they demand that we complete the entire routine. I’ve also tried leaving out steps for babysitters, but my kids will inevitably correct them!
Consistency is most important for a good bedtime routine. When our kids are babies, we do a version of this routine before naps, too. So we need a routine that we can repeat every time the same way. Write down the bedtime routine so everyone knows the steps. A good bedtime routine is one that works for our kids, signaling to them that its time for bed and preparing their bodies and minds for sleep. It should be soothing, comforting, calming. And when we get it just right, it can be the best part of our day!
Hi,
Iam a mother of a three month old girl. Everybody said things woulould star to get easier by now, but it became harder, as she is waking up every hour/hour and a halph and sleeping more during the day. She sleeps in a little crib next to my bed. She doesn’t really cry at nght but she starts fussing, moving her head from one side to the other and showing discomfort with gas ( she has been pooping only at e ery three days). When I look at her, many ti es her eyes are open and she is trying to get rid of the swaddling…but if i dont swaddle her she wakes up startled…
The other problem is: e erybody says to put her to sleep when she is drowsy and not sleepy, but she is usually comp,etely awaken during the nights up to almost midnight… she has a bath at 7:30 pm but it doesnt calm her down.. she keeps awake until around 11pm, when I decide to take her to the bedroom, dim the lights and nurse her… she feeds for about one hour and falls asleep, when i burp her for 15 min, swaddle her and put her in the crib.. then, she wakes up again at around 1:30-2am. I feed her againg, and she wakes up around 3, and then again at 4:30-5… and again at around 6:30-7… i have been getting very tired and i dont understand what everybody means by when she is drowsy… should i put her to sleep even if she is awake and leave her alone in the room? And if she starts crying? She doesnt look like she is going to fall asleep… Should i swaddle? Burp her evrytime during the night? Completely lost here! Need help! Thanks
We have a 7 month old, and we have been doing a bedtime routine with him since he was a few weeks old. At 7 he gets a bottle to make sure he fills up, then Bathtime, then storytime and snuggles. Now we have added in brushing his teeth, but otherwise we have been consistent for months. We take him in sleepy, lay him in bed (in our room, he sleeps in a playpen at the foot of our bed), and as soon as we leave the room he cries. We have tried staying in the room with him and just turning off the lights, and he still cries. I am not sure what to do, it takes about 20 minutes every night after we put him to bed to get him to sleep, and this has been consistent for months. Bedtime routine, same process, same words…same crying.
Any advice or tips would be very much appreciated.
Please help. We had a difficult start with silent reflux and very delayed diagnosis and treatment so developed bad habits due to constant screaming. My daughter is now 8 months. Her bedtime routine each night is- dinner 6pm ,change (in dimmed quiet room from here), bath 6:30, change, breastfeed 6:50, bed 7:30pm. She tends to wake 1-2 for a quick feed during the night. Goes down awake during the night but requires to be fed to sleep at bedtime. She screams if not. Whenever/wherever I breastfeed her at nighttime- regardless of where it is she falls asleep. Need to try switching our routine but don’t know where to start. She is a very active baby. Has never really slept much during the day- sleeps 20 mins on average in the morning and 40mins in pram on a walk in afternoon. It’s hard to follow sleep cues as she is so active and is only ever drowsy when I feed her. Please help! Rachel
[…] A growing child needs at least eight hours of sleep so that their bodies can rest and grow. Easier said than done, right? Dr. Debbie Freidman Sasson and Melissa Friedman Zdrowski of “The Sleep Sisters” suggest establishing consistent bedtime routines. It’s never too late to start a routine, they say. Check out their bedtime routine tips here. […]
My 6wk old usually wakes up around 7am or 8am and then has a fitful nap from 9-10am. Most of the time he is only half asleep or he wakes up a lot as he seems to be struggling to either release has or poop. I cuddle with him in the bedroom and keep it dark and wuiet (with white noise) to try to provide some calm for him. Between 10am and as late as 1pm, he simply won’t nap whatsoever. I’ve tried doing a shortened version of our bedtime routine but that doesn’t do anything for him. This is generally his “meltdown period” in which he will fuss, cry, and often wail. I’m usually able to finally get him to nap in his rock-n-play by mid-afternoon. He will often then nap for 2-3hrs, wake for a feed, then sleep for another 2-3hrs. His bedtime is usually between 9-10pm and sometimes he does make it a but tough to put him down but for the most part he goes to bed just fine and sleeps well at night. My concern is with his daytime napping. I hate that he is awake for such a long period before finally napping and I am not sure the long naps at mid-afternoon/early evening are good for him. What do you think?
My name Is Aissa and I have a 4 year old and a one and a half year old. My daughter is pretty good with bedtime but I am having troubles with me son. He has Co slept in bed with me ever since he was born and when I do try to put him into his bed after the bed time routine he cries a day cries and either poops or starts puking because he gets to worked up. I am looking for some advice please so that we can both get a better sleep thankyou
I have a 5 year old and a 3 year old . My 5 year old is going to school next month and I have no bedtime routine! I need advise big time . !
Hello… i cant reply to the above but i have a 1 1/2 year old girl, we struggle with the wind down for her going to sleep every night. she appears to be very tired, but once into pj’s and down for a story for night time she has a second wind and seems to wake up. We sing songs and spend alot of “me” time with her and then she has a bottle and goes to bed, but once she has finished her milk she stirs and starts to whimper and cries, we leave her for a while but she gets very cross and we have to go up and see to her – she starts making noises for attention and wants picking up and cuddling – how can we get out of all these habits? We have been struggling for months but no success. She has supper in the evening – does that make any difference to sleep? I would appreciate any feed back …..
My sweet sweet daughter is 4 months old (today) and has shown me ever since birth she wants an early bedtime 6-6:45pm. But the last few weeks or maybe more she will wake up 30-60 minutes after ‘bedtime’ and want to play. We do bath, jammies, swaddle, nurse to sleep. Every night when she wakes up at this time I try and gently help her back to sleep (sometimes just some gentle words, replace binky, or nurse depending on how much she ate at actual bedtime) and sometimes this works and she goes back to sleep. But other times she will not fall back asleep and is so dang cute and starts talking, smiling, playing with me. I give in on these days because to me it seems like she isn’t ready for sleep again. This wakeful period usually lasts a very happy 60-80 minutes which is a normal awake time for her. but at this point I am unsure how to proceed. When I do try and “force” her to go back to sleep we end up crying and frustrated for 60-80 minutes (I do not leave her. Unless I need a minute to collect myself from being frustrated) Any advice where to go from here? I realize she is very young but am I getting her bedtime wrong? Should she be taking a late nap at 5:30pm or something and extending her bedtime to get her that last burst of play time? I am just at a loss and cant find much on this problem. I should also say she doesn’t nap very well during that day only 40 minutes at a time. Sometimes I can get her back to sleep and she will sleep another 40 minutes. She usually sleeps at least 3-5 hours before waking to eat at night. And for naps she is laid down drowsy and not asleep (most of the time). help! please! anyone! :)
Hi Sleep Sisters, thank you for answering my question that I posted about my 3.5 months old son. He is now 4.5 months and went from great napper to crappy napper. I don’t know if he’s in the transition but this happened as soon as he turned 4 months. I’m trying to read his cues (rubbing eyes, yawning) but still feel miserably. He seemed to resist naps more and the longest nap he will take is 45 minutes (if I’m lucky), most of the time it’s 30 minutes and about 3-4 naps a day. For example he is up at 7 am this morning and usually would have been tired by around 8:30 am and so I nursed him and put him to his crib at 8:15 am and now almost 10:00 am and he is still fussing (no crying, just whining) and resisting this morning nap :(
I’ve moved his bed time earlier to between 6-7 pm and he usually wakes up at around 6-7 am and woke up to nurse once or sometimes twice. He is sleeping in his crib for both naps and night time.
Do you think it is time to put him on a nap schedule 9,12,3 ? or I should still follow his cues (which I seem to fail miserably) or is he still too young and I just to bear with this until he is 6 months ? Thank you so much!
and I forgot to add that he has rolled over from back to tummy but didn’t know how to do the opposite yet. So he often got stuck and cried and woke himself up. We do tummy time and kinda showed him how to roll back and forth, but that probably gonna take some time too. In a meantime… not sure what to do to make his nap better.
My 27mo daughter still wakes very frequently at night. Often every hour. She sleeps with us after her first waking and I breastfeed her back to sleep. I stopped feeding her to sleep at the start of the night and we have a good bedtime routine. It takes an hour from start to asleep but with no breastfeeding I think that’s good. Sometimes she wakes after only 1 hour, but increasingly she is sleeping 2-3
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Time To Wake Up, Sisters

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