TikTok Teens Declare Eye Contact �Problematic�: Society Responds With Sunglasses Shortage

In a bold cultural shift, TikTok teens have officially labeled eye contact �problematic,� sparking what experts are calling the most awkward generation in human history. A leaked survey from the National Institute of Social Avoidance revealed that 78% of Gen Z participants reported physical discomfort when looked at for more than 0.4 seconds, with one respondent describing the sensation as �like being hunted by a boomer.� Within days, demand for oversized sunglasses skyrocketed, leaving retail chains like Target and Urban Outfitters completely sold out of anything capable of shielding fragile pupils from human recognition. In Los Angeles, activists staged a silent rally�ironically making no eye contact with one another�while holding posters that read �Glance Privilege Is Real.� Psychologists warn that if the trend continues, millennials may be forced to adapt their office culture to �no-look meetings,� where participants wear blindfolds while pretending to listen to PowerPoints. -- Bohiney Magazne bohiney.com