Throat Sperma Gum Swallow Group

Throat Sperma Gum Swallow Group

Dr. Jenn Mann is a licensed marriage and family therapist and the relationship expert behind InStyle's long-running weekly column, Hump Day. She is best known for her hit VH1 show, "Couples Therapy with Dr. Jenn," and her popular call-in advice Sirius XM radio show, "The Dr. Jenn Show."

Updated on September 2, 2022 @ 09:50AM

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Am I a horrible BJ giver because I don't swallow? It makes me gag and tastes gross. I am, however, very enthusiastic when giving one. Does a guy get upset when you don't? Can I train myself to like it? —Spit Take

There are lots of people who don't swallow. And, lots of men who don't care and think a blowjob is the greatest sexual gift no matter what. What matters is knowing your partner well enough to know what is important to them. Yes, you can learn to swallow, if that's what you really want to do. But unless it is someone really special (who has been tested) and who is eating you out like there is no tomorrow... why would you?

There are many reasons why men enjoy having their semen swallowed. For some, it is the ultimate sign of acceptance and embracing them for all that they are. "Some men feel that swallowing indicates a degree of passion or acceptance or even love and that spitting is rejection," says Ian Kerner, sex expert and author of such titles as Passionista: The Empowered Woman's Guide to Pleasuring a Man and She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman .

For others, it can be an act of dominance. "For some men, it also is a behavior that's linked to a fantasy of feeling powerful. So some guys treat swallowing like it's part of lovemaking, others feel like it's part of eroticizing a partner during sex," he explains.

While it is important to understand the preferences of your partner and to be able to work together so that everyone has a great sexual experience, the pleasure of receiving oral sex is not dependent on the swallow. Focusing on the finish ignores the talent and skill that it takes to perform a great blow job, not to mention the pleasure that provides. According to Kerner, "Oral sex feels great, but swallowing has little to do with the actual physical pleasure. The essence of a blowjob is friction to the head of the penis, pressure to the base, and lubrication to facilitate the process. Suction and tongue-work augment the friction."

In addition to technique, there is a lot to be said for enthusiasm and passion. "Beyond physical pleasure, the difference between a great blow job and a not-so-great blow job is the psychological stance of the giver, namely does she seem into it?" says Kerner. "There are lots of ways to be into something — sensual, sweet, passionate, powerful — and guys can tell the difference generally between authenticity and going through the motions."

In other words, you can swallow a river but if your technique sucks, so to speak, and you seem repulsed, you're not going to impress anyone. Showing him you're really down, with authentic groans and getting into it, will go a lot farther than one gulp.

1. Communicate with your partner about what you are comfortable with.

Let him know what you are comfortable with and, if there are circumstances that might help you to feel differently, what that might be. "It's important to communicate your likes and dislikes and also be able to talk about them and feel like you're both listening and being heard. Taking a sexual behavior like swallowing off the table shouldn't be a deal breaker, especially if a partner enjoys other aspects of oral sex," Kerner says. "Also, if not swallowing allows you to really enjoy the other parts of fellatio, let your partner know this."

High-level technique requires study. When you were in school, if you wanted to get an A on a test, you studied for it. To get an A as a lover is no different. Many people have a hard time putting their ego aside to learn about sex and anatomy. "Why should I? I already know how to give a blow job," you may think to yourself. But you can always heighten your partner's pleasure, give better orgasms, and learn new things. When it comes to technique, no matter how much you know, it is best to put your ego aside and approach this learning process from a place of openness and humility. There is no shame in learning, and asking what feels good — and what could feel better — is a good place to start.

Spice things up by going deeper than you usually do. Check out some tips and techniques from my column about deep throating to give swallowing a whole new meaning.

Make sure that oral sex is reciprocal, that one person is not doing all the heavy lifting while the other lays back. This can breed resentment and make a partner nitpick and focus on what he isn't getting (swallowing) instead of what he is getting.

5. Don't let up til the orgasm is over.

A really common mistake that people without penises make is to stop blowing mid-orgasm which can make it less pleasurable. If you don't want to swallow, Kerner recommends, "don't stop applying friction with your hand until a guy has finished ejaculating."

It's okay. You don't have to swallow if you don't want to. And, if you want to work past your aversion, that is an option, too. Here's what you can do.

You can use your fabulous oral sex techniques as a warm-up to intercourse. Once things are hot and heavy, you can jump on top of him to take him inside of you (assuming he's consenting and game, of course).

There are so many places for him to cum! The world is his oyster... and your oyster is only one of them. He can cum on your stomach, your face, your boobs; roll over and give him your back as a palette if you want. He can cum on himself or shoot it across the room. Just try to keep his jizz out of your eye, which is not only mood-killer, but potentially dangerous. If that does happen make sure to rinse it with warm water, put a compress on it and check in with your doctor if things get inflamed.

There is nothing wrong with spitting it out. Just don't act like you are grossed out or find his juices repulsive. You can be so discreet he will hardly know. You should always have a washcloth or tissue nearby when doing anything that involves bodily fluids, anyway. He'll be psyched about the orgasm (and probably that it happened in your mouth), and you can just discreetly spit it into the cloth you already have on hand. Win-win.

If you want to get over your aversion, there is nothing like exposure therapy. Perhaps you had a bad experience with some "funky spunk" as Samantha did in Sex and the City . Maybe your current guy has a better taste than someone you were with in the past. Diet, health, and lifestyle habits can make a huge difference in acidity and taste. Another option is to let him shoot it further back in your throat so it does not hit your taste buds. Sometimes a bad experience — like a partner who did not warn you it was coming or one who pressured you to swallow when you weren't ready or didn't want to — can spook you for a long time after. Having a sensitive partner who lets you be more in control and doesn't pressure you can be very healing here.

For myriad reasons, you should think twice about any man who pressures you to swallow or shames you for not doing it. You should always have a conversation about STIs and HIV status before swapping fluids. People forget that they can catch something from oral sex but it happens. It is also okay to save something for a committed relationship... or, save it for never and straight up say no! After all, a sexual encounter with someone you're into should never be that hard to swallow.

In Hump Day, award-winning psychotherapist and TV host Dr. Jenn Mann answers your sex and relationship questions — unjudged and unfiltered.

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To celebrate the release of my new web series, The Big Gulp, which is about swallowing (hint: not water) I asked a vital question: “Do you remember the first time you swallowed?” People’s answers ranged from hilarious to surprisingly dark. You can see my story in the first episode, “Winter Is Coming”, below:
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xd7KjDn0dFs&w=584&h=390]
“The first time I swallowed I ran away from my boyfriend, spit it out in the sink, and took a swig chocolate syrup. He was a Christian. He wanted me to put the syrup on his dick. I wouldn’t. He currently lives in Denver with his boyfriend.” Lia, 25
“Swallowing is funny because it seems like there is such a premium on it, versus “spitting” which takes more skill anyways. The first time I swallowed I didn’t even know what I was doing, it just happened. Like, suddenly there was this rush of salty liquid in my mouth, no warning. It was cool, I think. It was nice that there was a very concrete end point because otherwise I would have had no idea when to be done, at that point.” Christine, 28
“Ok so I can’t remember the FIRST time I swallowed. but O can remember a series of times. honestly at this point I don’t even remember spitting ever. I think for me swallowing and sucking dick go hand in hand. spitting always seemed too messy, too much of a — the first words that came to mind were dick/pussy, I don’t know what that says about me BUT — seemed like too much of a dick move / a pussy move. i remember it being so fucking disgusting the first several times. Hell, it’s even kind of gross now. I’m madly in love with my boyfriend and I still kind of gag a bit at the end of a BJ. For me that’s the only option. The idea of spoiling the moment to run to the sink and spit? That doesn’t appeal to me. And nothing turns me on more than when I’m told how good i taste, so then I would assume to reason that a man feels the same. I think if I were a dude and a girl was always spitting out my splooge, my feelings would be hurt. Really, I’m just protecting everyone’s feelings. that’s what’s going on here.” Celeste, 27
“It was with my first boyfriend, who was emotionally abusive and extremely selfish. The first time I swallowed was not my choice and I had no warning. He wouldn’t kiss me afterwards and shortly asked me to leave.” Alex, 21
“The first time I swallowed jizz I threw it up 5 minutes later. It was disgusting. It was so horrible, I was like yeah man I can do this, I can totally swallow jizz. I was like 19, and it was a huge load too and I was like OH OK THEN and then it tasted so wrong, like off milk mixed with ball sweat and so I swallowed it… then I tried to remain suave and sexy… then my stomach was churning and I threw up gluggy hot semen and it was the most disgusting feeling rising up from my throat into my mouth.” Courtney, 25
“I had been going out with this guy for about a month and a half. I was on my period and really didn’t want to get his sheets messy but he kept saying he didn’t mind and that it was fine with him. But since we were still pretty new, I really wanted to wait before we got into the period sex thing so I decided to go down on him instead. While I was blowing him, he kept saying how good it was and that he was close – you know, the usual pep talk. So I was really into it and when he told me he was about to come I just kept going and let him come in my mouth. At that moment, spitting it out didn’t seem like an option so I went ahead and swallowed it. The weird thing is, couple of seconds after I had swallowed, he looked up and asked me if I swallowed it and I got nervous and said “yeah, some of it”. His response to that was “ohh okay, cuz we haven’t been going out for that long so I don’t think we’re there yet.” We went out for another month after that but I never swallowed his again.” Amy, 23
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By Holly Riordan
Updated February 1, 2022

By Holly Riordan
Updated February 1, 2022

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1. “I love blowing him right before I leave for work, so that I’ll still have the taste in my mouth when I get to the office. It’s a naughty little reminder of what I’ve just done. So yeah, I enjoy the taste.” — Amber, 25
2. “I don’t know if he needs to change his diet or something, but his semen always tastes so sour. I swallow, but then I run to the bathroom to wash my mouth out. He doesn’t know that, though.” — Amy, 20
3. “At first I wasn’t into it. And then, once, my boyfriend kissed me after eating me out, and the taste on his lips was horrible . Made me want to vomit. So yeah, I’d much rather swallow his load than taste my own fluids ever again.” — Taylor, 23
4. “For me, the taste isn’t a big deal. Nothing to brag or complain about. It’s the amount that gets me. When a lot comes out, it’s hard to swallow. Literally.” — Victoria, 28
5. “I pay pretty close attention to what he’s been putting inside of his body. If he’s had a lot of fruit and pineapple juice lately, then I’ll let him cum in my mouth. But if he’s been having a lot of beer and cigarettes, then I tell him to cum on my tits instead and we’re both happy.” — April, 31
6. “It doesn’t really taste like anything to me? Is that weird? It’s just like… nothingness. So I don’t like or dislike it.” — Olivia, 22
7. “That’s an impossible question to answer. Every guy tastes different. One particular guy could taste different on different days. It’s not always going to taste sweet. It’s not always going to taste sour. Sometimes, it’ll be in the middle. And sometimes, you’ll want to gag. It really depends.” — Laura, 29
8. “Taste is fine. Smell is gross.” — Shelby, 26
9. “I hate going down on guys. So when he squirts into my mouth, I’m just so happy that the blowjob is finally over that I don’t even notice the taste.” — Erica, 24
10. “Let’s get this straight, I hate the taste. Hate it. But I swallow and act like I’m loving it, because he finds it sexy. And when he thinks I’m sexy, I feel sexy. So I deal with it.” — Madison, 21
11. “I refused to swallow for years and my friends would always make fun of me. But when I started dating my current boyfriend, I tried it, and it wasn’t nearly as bad as I imagined in my head. Still bad, but not unbearably bad.” — Lindsey, 30
12. “Honestly, I’ve never even considered spitting. The taste is fine. And it’s easier to swallow than to find a place to spit.” — Alicia, 25
13. “My ex tasted delicious. My current boyfriend tastes… pretty bad. I make fun of him for it all the time. Does that make me a horrible person?” — Miranda, 26
14. “I’ll be honest here, I don’t give blowjobs all that often. So when I do, I feel like I have to make it special. Swallowing once or twice a month isn’t really that big of a deal. It’s like eating salt. ” — Whitney, 23
15. “I’m bi and I personally prefer going down on women. I think they taste better, but that’s just one girl’s opinion.” — Alexa, 29
16. “Yup! I’m obsessed with the taste of him. Even when he’s inside me, sometimes I ask him to pull out so he can finish in my mouth.” — Faith, 24
17. “I mean, it’s not going to taste like a cappuccino. It came out of his dick. It’s about as good as it’s going to get.” — Paige, 23

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Ari has absolutely no interest in visiting the island resort where traumatic memories are repressed. She would much rather deal with her sister’s death the old-fashioned way. Booze. Even though her gut warns her to stay home, visiting the island becomes inevitable—and more dangerous than she ever could have imagined.
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