Throat Slap

Throat Slap

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Hi, I’m wondering if holding a partner’s throat while having sex could be a sign of need for dominance or control . My partner would wrap his hand around my neck if I was on top, and since he didn’t squeeze or do something to alarm me, I tolerated it. I do wonder, however, if this is a sign of control issues. On the other hand, it seems there are all sorts of "tips" about what women like or not like in bed, including slapping, biting, etc… and I wonder if holding someone’s throat is part of that repertoire of "things to do". Thanks!
I am making an educated guess that you are asking this question because you are not comfortable with your partner holding your neck. In fact, you write that "since he did not squeeze or do anything to alarm you, you tolerated it." "Tolerating" a sexual practice is very far from liking or enjoying it. Frankly, that should be your guide and not what you read in books.
Different people and intimate couples engage in wide varieties of sexual behaviors that other couples find objectionable. All that really matters with regard to this is what feels right to the individual and, then, to the couple. I cannot blame you for not enjoying having your neck held but that is just my opinion. I don’t even like to wear turtle neck shirts or shirts with ties. Again, this is a matter of individual preference and trust between you and your partner.
I am not able to comment on the motives that drive your partner because I do not know him and have no way of making such a judgment. Even then, it does not matter if you are not comfortable. Yes, some people, male or female, enjoy being slapped, or bitten, or tied, etc, or all of these. There is nothing wrong if that is what "turns them on," no one’s life is threatened, no one is truly harmed and the practices are enjoyed by both people because they are having fun.
There is nothing wrong for refusing to do what upsets you or makes you uncomfortable in any way at all. Set the limits that are important to you.

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SLAP Tear: Symptoms and Treatment | HSS Sports Medicine
https://www.hss.edu/condition-list_slap-tear-shoulder.asp
One of the most common types of labral tears of the shoulder is the SLAP tear, also known as a SLAP lesion.
SLAP stands for "superior labrum from anterior to posterior." This type of shoulder labral tear occurs at the top (“superior”) of the glenoid labrum where it connects to the biceps tendon, and it extends in a curve from the chest (“anterior”) to the back (“posterior”). SLAP lesions are considered as separate entities from other labral tears because the superior labrum is the attachment site of the long head biceps tendon. Injuries to the labrum in this region can result in labral symptoms, biceps symptoms or both.
SLAP tears (also called SLAP lesions) vary in severity from minor fraying to complete detachment from the shoulder socket. They are common injuries among overhand athletes who make forceful arm movements, such as baseball players or tennis players.
The shoulder is a ball-and-socket joint. The head of the humerus (upper arm bone) functions as the ball and the glenoid cavity of the scapula (shoulder blade) functions as the socket. But this shoulder socket is shallow, leaving the joint relatively unstable. The shoulder labrum is a cup-shaped rim of rubber-like fibrous cartilage that lines the socket to help secure the humerus and reinforce the joint.
Also known as the glenoid labrum, it provides support and stability to the shoulder joint in conjunction with the rotator cuff tendons and muscles. The labrum is also the attachment site for the tendon that connects to the long head of the biceps muscle and for several ligaments.
SLAP tears can be caused by falling onto an outstretched hand, quickly lifting a heavy object or from a forceful, overhead arm motion during sports or work activity. More often, however, they result from repetitive stress on the shoulder which, over time, wears down the shoulder labrum.
In both cases, SLAP tears are most common among people whose daily activities require frequent upward arm movement, such as weightlifters, tennis players and factory or shipping workers.
SLAP tears are sometimes a result of or found in combination with biceps tendonitis or a biceps tendon tear. If a biceps tendon is torn away from where it connects to the scapula bone (shoulder blade), it can tear the glenoid labrum along with it.
SLAP tears can cause pain and range-of-motion problems in the shoulder labrum, the biceps tendon or both. Common symptoms of a SLAP tear include:
Diagnosing a SLAP tear is challenging, especially since they often occur in conjunction with other injuries to soft tissues of the shoulder and upper arm. A sports medicine physician will review your medical history, symptoms and the circumstances under which your injury occurred. If your doctor to suspects a SLAP tear, they will order soft-tissue radiological exams. This is usually an MRI (magnetic resonance imaging).
SLAP tears may be treated nonsurgically or surgically, depending on the patient’s individual condition. Conservative, nonsurgical treatments including rest and physical therapy are usually tried first, except in severe cases.
When surgery is warranted, the choice of the appropriate procedure will depend on a person’s age and the specific type of SLAP tear they have. The three most common surgeries for SLAP tears are:
SLAP repair is performed arthroscopically, using minimally invasive techniques. Depending on the severity of the tear, the labrum and ligaments may need to be reattached to the bone using sutures and anchors.
Patients who experience biceps tendonitis in conjunction with a SLAP tear may need their biceps surgically disconnected from the labrum to relieve the stress it places on it.
This surgery releases (detaches) the tendon from the labrum.
In this procedure, the biceps tendon is detached from the shoulder labrum and then reinserted lower down, directly onto the humerus (upper arm) bone, to retain function.
Whether you have surgery or not, rehabilitation for a SLAP tear focuses on restoring glenohumeral and scapulothoracic strength, endurance, and full, pain-free range of motion, while correcting any deficiencies in balance or rhythm throughout the overhead motion.
SLAP repair in athletes who perform frequent overarm movements have shown mixed results. This surgery is more successful in patients under age 40, but remains the treatment of choice for high-level overhead athletes. Older patients are more likely to have better outcomes from biceps tenodesis or tenotomy.
When applied to appropriate surgical candidates, newer surgical techniques are allowing competitive many athletes to return to their chosen sport and continue to perform at a high level.
While the surgery is typically done arthroscopically as an outpatient (meaning patients go home the same day), the recovery is the hard part. Most patients are in a sling for six weeks then get more aggressive in physical therapy to work on stretching and strengthening. Athletes gradually start returning to sport by about four months from surgery with full, unrestricted play on average by six months.
Learn about related shoulder labrum tear injuries in these articles.

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