Thinking About Kissing Your Wife Post
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Understanding the inner lives of wives
Understanding the inner lives of husbands
Rediscovering the love of your life
Understanding sin's effect on intimacy
Under the covers: Talking about lost sexual interest in your marriage
What’s it mean to "kiss like you’re married"? A routine, lifeless, cool peck? Or a passionate, erotic, steamy smooch?
The first response describes stereotypically dull, post-honeymoon marital intimacy. The second depicts electrifying, full-body expressions of lifelong sensuality between husband and wife.
Sadly, reality confirms the stereotype: Average marital kissing habits are dry – and destructive.
In Kiss Me Like You Mean It, Dr. David Clarke bluntly writes that passionate kissing fades in 100 per cent of marriages. Supporting this statistic, a recent British Heart Foundation survey found that one in five married couples goes up to one week without kissing. And for 40 per cent of the survey respondents, the few-and-far-between kisses last no longer than five seconds.
But don’t give up hope! Rather, give your marriage the gift of exhilarating intimacy, in and out of the bedroom. Read on to learn the whys and hows of kissing your way toward a spicier relationship.
To understand the power of a kiss, realize there’s more to a kiss than meets the lips. Even if it were all in the lips, author Sheril Kirshenbaum remains optimistic. In The Science of Kissing: What Our Lips Are Telling Us, she explains that lips disproportionately dominate your neural space relative to other body parts. This means that lips are extremely sensitive, so a single sensual kiss rouses a great deal of neurotransmitter and hormone activity. For instance, a spike in dopamine increases pleasure and longing, elevated oxytocin fosters bonding and rising serotonin boosts feelings of contentment.
In turn, a study conducted by Arizona State University professor Kory Floyd shows that bodily pleasure translates into marital satisfaction. His intriguing research reveals that when couples increased their kissing during a six-week period, their cholesterol and stress-levels lowered and their relationship satisfaction rose.
As a bonus, science suggests that men transfer testosterone through their saliva! Since testosterone raises libido in men and women, swapping saliva can elevate sexual desire. Needless to say, while kissing feeds desire and can prime you and your spouse for more physical intimacy, it need not always lead to intercourse.
Good kissing bonds a couple. Poor kissing threatens to erode marital intimacy. Invest a moment to complete Clarke’s amusing "Kissing Test" to reveal how frequently your kisses fall under these four subpar categories:
Of course, there’s nothing inherently wrong with these types of kisses. But they should be only part of a balanced diet. On their own, these lifeless kisses can result in a malnourished marriage.
For a more passionate, flirtatious and exciting marriage, practice these eight tips:
Reference to the individuals and organizations quoted does not constitute a blanket endorsement of either the individual’s external work or their respective organizations.
Cara Plett is an in-house writer for Focus on the Family Canada.
© 2013 Focus on the Family (Canada) Association. All rights reserved.
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Thinking About Kissing Your Wife Post
