Things That Will Make You Horny

Things That Will Make You Horny
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Lane Moore
Lane Moore is an award-winning comedian, actor, writer, and musician based in New York City.

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Warning: Reading this will make you feel some feelings and the need to excuse yourself for a minute.
1. When a guy has really nice forearms. Is it because he'd look good chopping wood? Because I don't live anywhere near a forest, but I'm still into it. Also, I couldn't tell you what makes a nice forearm. It's very subjective and case-by-case, but you know it when you see one.
2. Ryan Gosling's fake Brooklyn accent. Ryan is from Canada and yet he sounds like Robert DeNiro for no reason. Do our vaginas care that his voice is a lie? No, they do not. If anything, the fact that it's total B.S. might work in its favor, but I don't know why because scientists have yet to do any research on the matter. Who do I speak to about getting that changed?
3. Guys in tailored suits that don't look like they previously belonged to their dads. So many guys own suits that make them look like 1980s stand-up comedians that when a guy has one that fits just right, our vaginas hurtle into space like shooting stars.
4. When a guy jangles his watch while he drives. Seriously, what movies taught us this was hot? How do we explain that a guy shaking his watch off his wrist because it was too loose and he wanted to shake it down his arm makes us want to stop the car and jump him? How?
5. Suspenders. Note: Not everyone can pull them off. Years ago, I told a guy that suspenders drove me nuts and he tried to wear them and just ended up looking like a '90s drug dealer. Not the same thing.
6. When men wear female-fronted band T-shirts. One time, I saw a guy I never would've looked twice at on the subway wearing a Heart T-shirt, and all of a sudden decided he was my soul mate. Why? Who knows, but any man who can openly worship at the alter of women in rock can get it.
7. Guys who have very pretty long hair. Who then take their hands and run it through their pretty, pretty long hair. God help us if they also push it behind their ear .
8. When guys talk about how much they love their moms. Unless your mom is a monster human being, everyone should love their mom, so a guy who loves his mom should not be hot. He should just be "a guy." And yet, the second a dude tells us he thinks his mom is amazing, we immediately become that little emoji face with hearts instead of eyes. So weird.
9. When guys seem like really good dads. Again, all men should be good dads, so why is this so hot?! Maybe it's because it's rare to see a guy hanging out with his kid in the park and looking really into it? Analyzing this is making me sad.
10. A reasonably fit guy in a slightly too tight white T-shirt. I'm sorry. My brain stopped working just reading that.
11. When men have luxurious eyelashes we wish we had. At first, you're angry because that just seems like a waste of luxurious eyelashes, but then the more you gaze at them, the more you need a vibrator stat. Doesn't matter why. It is what it is.
12. Cheekbones so deep you could crawl into them and set up base camp for life. If anything, this should make us think a dude might be malnourished, but instead it makes us want to run our fingers along their deep, deep crevice.
13. When men roll up their sleeves. Exhibit H (for horniness, duh).
14. When a guy is doing dishes and puts a dishtowel on his shoulder. First of all, this happens so rarely IRL and I think that is the cause of many problems in this world.
15. Guys cooking while wearing aprons. And then when they take it off. It's basically "Aww, they care if their shirt gets dirty. We should have sex."
16. Hot guys reading. There's an entire Instagram devoted to this for a reason.
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There’s not much about a woman that doesn’t turn you on: Her mouth. Her breasts. Her . . . long arms ?

Australian researchers found that when guys judged photos of different women, the ladies with the lengthiest arms—but not legs—were rated hottest. The scientists speculate long, toned arms make a woman appear thinner and “more functional,” or somehow more reproductively capable.

But that’s just the beginning. Check out these nine other strange, surprising boner-triggers.

(Want to know what turns her on? Here are 5 Things That Secretly Make Her Horny .)

Throw in the whiff of donuts and licorice and you’ve got an olfactory cocktail that somehow triggers a kind of “Pavlovian” sexual response in a man’s brain, say experts from Chicago’s Smell & Taste Treatment and Research Foundation.
The summer staple contains an amino acid called citrulline, which has a Viagra-like effect on a man’s erection, shows a study from Texas A&M University. Like most drugs that treat erectile dysfunction, citrulline improves blood flow—putting more lead in your pencil and upping your horniness quotient, the research suggests.
When financial resources are scarce, your mind is programmed to seek out more primal sources of achievement and worth. And producing more offspring, from an evolutionary standpoint, tops that list, indicates a University of Kansas study.
Being around a bunch of other men increases your sense of sexual competition, which in turn amps up your sexual desire, explains research from Canada’s McMaster University.
Most men are turned on by women who resemble them physically, finds research from Southern Illinois University. Your brain may be wired to perceive body types similar to your own as safe and reproductively optimal.
This explains why characters in horror movies shack up like rabbits. Sexual arousal scores go through the roof when you’re anxious or frightened, finds one Canadian study. It could be that when you’re freaked out, all of your senses are aroused, which in turn primes you to respond to any sexual stimuli.
A fresh set of bed linens is near the top of the list of male turn-ons, say British scientists. You shed roughly 1.5 million skin cells an hour and exude oils loaded with bacteria. So it’s possible your brain feels more relaxed—and therefore open to sex—if your covers aren’t covered by days or weeks of your body’s detritus, suggests research from the National Sleep Foundation.
Hers, not yours. Guys produce more sperm and have more interest in sex if they suspect their partner may have fooled around—or was in a situation where infidelity was likely. (Say, that trip to Vegas she just went on with her girlfriends.) “Sperm competition,” or your instinctive desire to beat out other guys for reproductive rights to a woman, fuels this jump in arousal, say researchers from Florida Atlantic University.
Like a bull chasing a red cape, men view women in red as more sexually alluring than ladies wearing any other color. Blame evolution: Somehow, your mind is programmed to interpret red as a sign of sexual interest, University of Rochester researchers explain.
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Markham Heid
Markham Heid is an experienced health reporter and writer, has contributed to outlets like TIME, Men’s Health, and Everyday Health, and has received reporting awards from the Society of Professional Journalists and the Maryland, Delaware, and D.C.

This content is created and maintained by a third party, and imported onto this page to help users provide their email addresses. You may be able to find more information about this and similar content at piano.io

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From clean sheets to watermelon, these strange aphrodisiacs could turn you on

New Health Advisor
New Health Advisor for Daily Health Care.

Current time: 07/11/2022 10:34:35 am (America/New_York)
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The famous lover from the 18 th century, Casanova, used to eat 50 oysters for breakfast everyday so that he would always have increased libido. Many cultures in ancient times understood the power of foods that make you horny. For instance, the Aztecs believe that an avocado tree was actually a “testicle tree”. This article will introduce some foods that are believed to be aphrodisiacs that may increase your sexual desire.
The pomegranate is actually the symbol of Aphrodite, the Goddess of Love in Greek mythology. It is said that she planted the very first tree. This fruit increases the production of nitric oxide in the body that can increase blood flow, which then reaches your sexual organs and increases sexual responses.
Oysters have been a popular aphrodisiac since ancient times. They contain high amounts of zinc and protein that increases your body’s production of testosterone. They are also high in dopamine, which affects the brain’s sexual arousal centers. They are a perfect “date night” food, and delicious with some nice wine and soft music next to the fire.
Avocados are one of the foods that make you horny. These tasty fruits are filled with healthy fatty acids and vitamin E that increase the production of testosterone and boost blood flow to the sexual organs. The Aztecs name the trees they grow on “ahuacuatl” or “testicle-tree” because the fruit does kind of resemble the male genitals.
The Greeks thought of figs as a symbol of fertility and love. Even Cleopatra loved figs. It is said that they are very stimulating to the sex drive for both men and women because of its high level of amino acids. If you slice a fig in half, the inside looks like a woman’s sexual anatomy, and many women find it sexually arousal to see a man eating a fresh fig.
Bananas have long been thought of as a phallic symbol because of its shape. Many women use it to tease a man! Bananas contain high levels of potassium that help increase the production of sex hormones. They also contain bromelain that can increase sex drive. Bromelain may even reduce male impotency.
Chocolate has long been thought of as a romantic food. Many ancient tribes used chocolate in their fertility rituals, believing that it can increase the chances of conception. Even the emperor Montezuma eat cocoa beans to get himself ready for Love! Chocolate contains phenylethylamine and high levels of serotonin that are natural “feel good” chemicals to the body. They can increase your affectionate feelings and give you a relaxing, almost “high” feeling. This is because chocolate also contains anandamide, which affects the very same neurotransmitters as marijuana.
Why is watermelon one of the foods that make you horny? They contain a chemical called citrulline. This substance opens up your blood vessels and gets fluids into them. This can increase circulation and fluids to the sexual organs and get them ready for love. If you are feeling hot and thirsty, grab some water melon to not only quench your thirst for fluids, but also increase your sexual impulses.
All the way back to ancient civilization, almonds have been considered as an aphrodisiac. They have long been making their ways into poems and writings about love and romance. These erotic nuts contain magnesium and vitamin E that can increase sex drive and sexual stamina.
Centuries ago in France, men would eat asparagus prior to getting married so they would be ready to consummate the marriage right away. The Kama Sutra, an ancient sex guide originated from India, states that when you eat asparagus in paste form it can boost sex drive. This vegetable has high amounts of vitamin E, potassium and calcium that cleanse the kidneys. This can give you more energy and be ready for long hours of lovin!
Honey has long been used as a romantic food. The Celts in Medieval times would drink Honey Meade or a wine made with honey on their honeymoon to get in the mood to consummate their marriages. Persians would drink honey straight for one month prior to lovemaking to prepare their bodies for it. The high concentration of vitamin B and boron that honey contains can help balance the estrogen and testosterone levels in your body.
Certain food scents can trigger the sexual response and get you in the mood. Cinnamon buns are one of the, but also fresh donuts and licorice. They tend to hit the olfactory centers in the brain that connect to the sexual centers, according to experts.
Small sips of wine can increase sex drive from the chemical called ethanol. This triggers the hypothalamus to rev up many body functions like hunger, hormones, love, temperature, and your sexual desire. However, too much wine can cause uncomfortable flushing, increased hunger, and dim the sexual response.
Why is coconut water one of the foods that make you horny? Coconut water that has not yet been processed is often referred to as “sex milk”. This is because it can cleanse the body, give you a glow, and increase the production of hormones that make you feel horny. It is said these feelings begin after drinking the milk of around three full coconuts.
Goji berries are a pretty popular kind of aphrodisiac. They are said to raise male testosterone levels and women’s libido. The chemicals in these berries elevate the mood and make you feel happy. They may also have a positive effect on the prostate. Besides, if you use goji berries to increase your sex drive and are male, you may notice changes in your PSA lab test.
Eating a warm bowl of oatmeal before bed can boost testosterone in men from the chemical L-arginine. Oats are also high in vitamin B, which can increase circulation to the sexual organs. Some research results showed that it may help improve erectile dysfunction in men.
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Last Updated 11 July, 2022.

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