Theresome Sex

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Theresome Sex
by Claire Lampen and Korin Miller Published: Aug 10, 2021
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Korin Miller is a freelance writer specializing in general wellness, sexual health and relationships, and lifestyle trends, with work appearing in Men’s Health, Women’s Health, Self, Glamour, and more. She has a master’s degree from American University, lives by the beach, and hopes to own a teacup pig and taco truck one day.
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Make your ménage à trois hot, not awk.
So...you’re going to have a threesome. Maybe it’s the first time, maybe it’s the thousandth. Maybe the last attempt didn’t go as smoothly as you wanted. Whatever the scenario: This is the guide for you.
Threesomes might actually be more common than you think: In a 2016 survey of 274 heterosexual people ages 18 to 24, 24 percent of men and 8 percent of women reported previous threesome experience, while 82 percent of guys and 31 percent of women said that they’d be into exploring the possibility. Which is to say, there's definitely interest out there in a good ol' ménage à trois.
But interest alone does not a successful threesome make.
Speaking with eight people who’d involved themselves in threeways, Women’s Health found that most participants walked away from their encounters feeling satisfied and happy, but some viewed the enterprise as confusing, weird, and relationship-complicating. And certainly, maneuvering with all those limbs in play can get a little awkward. So how do you keep things hot?
“One thing in threeways you want to remember is that these roles of giving and receiving can change and change and change and change,” Dossie Easton , LMFT, a psychotherapist, relationship counselor, and author, tells Women’s Health . “If you are doing more giving at this time, you can be doing more receiving later, but there’s no limit to how much time you spend. We’re not in a hurry here, we’re not being efficiency experts. This is about pleasure.”
“The important thing is how do people feel, and what feels good, what feels comfortable to people, what feels inclusive, how people feel confident,” she added.
To that end, communication is key. Try the yes, no, maybe exercise: As a group, list out all the sex acts you can think of, then individually make lists of things you like, things you don’t, and things you’d maybe try under specific conditions.
Tell your partners what makes you orgasm, and ask them what they like best. Make sure everyone is included throughout the session, and give your partners feedback, Easton says. In a threesome, the lines of communication should be open before, during, and after.
And in the process of figuring out what people will consent to, it might help to familiarize yourselves with a few basic moves going into the act, with an eye toward keeping movement fluid. But once you get started, talk to one another as you move along, and positions will flow more naturally from one to the next.
Whether you’re an female-female-male (FFM) or male-male-female (MMF) triad, you can work the classic 69 position with a threesome twist, says Jess O'Reilly, PhD, of the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast . She recommends lying on your sides. “The 69ers lay facing each other, but with their heads in one another’s crotches, with one partner on the edge of the bed,” she says. The other partner approaches from behind for anal play, while standing next to the bed.
Threesomes don’t necessarily have to be in person . If you can’t all be together at once, try this trick from O’Reilly: Two partners sit in front of the screen while playing with a partner who is elsewhere. “You can give one another directions, put on a one or two-way show or play from afar with a vibrator that connects to an app,” she says.
Anticipation can be nearly as hot as the sex itself. O’Reilly suggests this move to really ramp things up: Have two partners lie on their backs next to each other, with the third partner taking turns going down on them. The recipients can use their hands on each other while waiting their turn, or “make one partner wait to built anticipation,” O’Reilly says.
Got a roomy shower? It’s time to use it. “If you have the space, take your threesome into the shower and take turns soaping one another up,” O’Reilly says.
You can each take turns being the center of attention. The recipient can lead against the wall while the other four hands and two mouths explore. “Switch roles and don’t feel pressure to orgasm on the spot,” O’Reilly says. “You can always move to a more comfortable location as arousal builds."
In this arrangement, the male (or person with a strap-on) penetrates a female who is giving oral to a female or male in front of her.
Everyone can lay on their sides, but if your bed isn’t big enough to fit all three people try this: One partner can bend over the bed while the penetrative partner stands on the floor behind them and the third person lies on the bed in front of them to receive oral, O’Reilly says. If you’re in the middle, she recommends guiding your partners with your hands, body, and words, adding, “let them know what speed, depth, and rhythm you prefer.” And, if you’re on the receiving oral end, “let your hands wander in any way that works for you,” O’Reilly says.
This takes a bit of coordination and cooperation from everyone.
To do it, lay on your sides and get into a spooning position. Two people penetrate the person in front of them, either vaginally or anally (in a MFF threesome, someone can wear a strap-on). Then, slowly thrust together. “Use lots of lube and play externally to build arousal before you venture inside,” O’Reilly advises. Then, she says, “do what feels good for you.”
In a MMF or FFM arrangement, one person can penetrate a partner, whether vaginally or anally, while the other strokes erogenous zones on their fellow participants, Annette Gates —a certified somatic sex educator and relationship coach—says.
In a MMF set up, “a male could be penetrating a female with their penis while having pressure applied to their perineum, getting their testicles massaged or licked, or being penetrated anally by the other male,” Gates says.
For FFM trios, two women can lie on top of one another and play with each others’ bodies while the male (or person with a strap-on) enters the woman on top from behind. This position is ideal for nipple play , clitoral stimulation, even a little rimming, during penetration.
Learn 14 mind-blowing facts that will completely change the way you think about orgasms:
For MMF triads, Easton warns, double penetration can be “kind of advanced work” because figuring out where all the knees go is trickier than it looks. That said, double penetration needn’t necessarily require two penises.
“A female [in FFM or MMF] could be receiving double penetration vaginally and anally, with a finger or penis,” Gates points out. You can always use some of the many hands a threesome involves to achieve the same effect, if positioning proves too difficult.
With that in mind, MMF couples might try double penetration with one of the men lying down: The woman can climb on top and ride him while the second man enters her anally from behind. In FFM arrangements, one woman can digitally penetrate the other’s anus, or use a dildo or strap-on .
One thing to always keep in mind, Easton says, is that a threesome has six hands and three mouths to work with. While she personally finds it easier to concentrate on one-to-one oral pleasure, the Daisy Chain presents a solid opportunity to make use of all your mouths. It’s also easy to execute.
Each participant lies on their side with their face at their neighbor’s crotch, forming a circle. Woman one performs oral sex on the man, who is performing oral sex on woman two, who is performing oral sex on woman one; or, the woman performs oral sex on man one, who is performing oral sex on man two, who is performing oral sex on the woman.
Whether you’re an FFM or MMF triad, perhaps consider performing mutual fellatio on one (or both) of your penis-having partners, recommends Easton. One person can take the shaft while another sucks on the testes, or both can lick at once, or you can switch from mouth to mouth.
Arguably the best known of all the threesome positions, the Eiffel Tower blends oral and penetrative sex: If you’re in an MMF arrangement, the woman assumes doggy position while one man penetrates her from behind and she gives the third partner a blow job.
If you’re in an FFM triad, have the man lie on his back while one partner rides him and the other sits on his face. The women can also lean forward to stimulate each other from this vantage point, keeping everyone in the mix.
Plus, as Easton points out, keeping one person up by the prone party’s head allows for easier communication.
“Periodically stop and check in, get up to the person’s head and check in with them, just to make sure they’re still where you think they are,” she advises. “So to have somebody pleasuring the person’s genitals and have somebody else up near their head, either playing with their mouth or their neck or their nipples, gives a kind of extra connection.”
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by Zachary Zane Published: Feb 1, 2021
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At some point in your life, you’ve likely fantasized about having a threesome. You’re not alone, my friend. When Men's Health advisory board member Justin Lehmiller, Ph.D., host of the Sex and Psychology Podcast , author of Tell Me What You Want , surveyed over 4,000 people on their sexual fantasies, he found that having a threesome is the most common sexual fantasy among Americans. Ninety-five percent of men and 87% of women said they had fantasized about sex with multiple partners.
We're here to talk about the best threesome sex positions—and we'll get there, we promise! But before you jump into bed with a third person, there are a few important threesome tips to keep in mind. First, if you’re still looking for a third, you should check out our list of the best threesome apps . (And don’t assume just because a woman is bisexual, she’ll want to have a threesome with you. Bi women are often harassed on dating apps, constantly asked if they’d be down to have a threesome, and they’re tired of it !)
Once you know who you'll be getting down with, you should talk to everyone involved before stripping naked, setting clear boundaries and clarifying expectations. Quite a few things can go wrong during a threesome , but by talking it out with all members beforehand, you'll up the chances of everyone coming away sexually satisfied.
Now, onto those threesome sex positions we promised! It can be complicated trying to fit everyone's bodies together. Six is a lot of limbs! That's why we're here to talk about the best threesome sex positions, including options for bi threesomes, where everyone is into each other, and "devil's" threesomes , where two of the participants aren't playing with each other.
So without further ado, here are 10 threesome sex positions that are super hot and totally doable. (For more sexy ways to switch up your bedroom routine, check out our list of the all-time best sex positions .)
How to do it: While one partner straddles your waist and junk in a traditional cowgirl position, the other straddles your face allowing you to go down on them.
Pro tip: The person sitting on your face can straddle you either way, but it’s typically better if they straddle you while facing the other partner, so they, too, can kiss and touch each other if they want.
How to do it: You’re the “caboose” of this train, penetrating your partner doggy style. The middle partner is then either digitally penetrating or eating out the head of the train, who’s also on their knees, bent forward in a classic doggy style position.
How to do it: Your two partners are on their knees in front of you, both blowing you at the same time.
Pro tip: It’s best if one blower focuses on you balls while the other focuses on your penis. Depending on if you’re into it, one partner could actually be on their knees, rimming you from behind while the other person goes down on you from the front.
How to do it: You’re having sex with the first partner doggy style. The third partner is lying on their back positioned in a manner that allows the middle person to go down on them.
How to do it: Everyone is lying on their sides in a circular position eating out/blowing one another.
Pro tip: I wouldn’t do this if the people you’re with aren’t roughly your size. If you’re a foot taller than the other partners, this may be difficult to navigate.
How to do it: The partner in the middle gets penetrated from behind and performs a BJ at the same time.
Pro tip: I'm personally not into touching both hands at the top to create the appearance of the Eiffel Tower, but if you feel the urge, I’m not going yuck your yum.
How to do it: One person lies on their back underneath the vulva-owning partner, who's also on their back. The other partner penetrates them in the missionary position.
Pro tip: Porn stars deserve a raise because they make this look so easy, when in fact, it’s quite difficult. But here are some tips that can help: Have the person with the bigger penis be in the backdoor, because the angle makes it’s more likely he’s going to slip out. Both penis-owners should not attempt to thrust at the same time, because if you do, one of you will slip out almost immediately.
How to do it: This is the same as the Doggy Deluxe, except with two penis-owners. One of them is having sex with the vulva-owning partner in doggy style. The other person lies on their back to easily receive oral.
How to do it: Everyone lies on their sides and penetrates the person in front of them either anally or vaginally.
Pro Tip: Really squish yourselves together for this position. If you have too much space between you, someone is going to slip out.
How to do it: It's like the 2009 horror movie...except actually good. In this position, all three people are on their knees, rimming the person in front of them.
Pro Tip: Despite the awful (but hilarious) name, this is amazing for guys who are into analingus. It’s also a great position to start in, because from there, it’s easy to seamlessly move into a number of the more penetrative sex positions listed above, like the Doggy Train or Doggy Deluxe.
Zachary Zane is a Brooklyn-based writer, speaker, and activist whose work focuses on lifestyle, sexuality, and culture. He was formerly the digital associate editor at OUT Magazine and currently has a queer cannabis column, Puff Puff YASS , at Civilized .
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©Hearst Magazine Media, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

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