The asshole monologues

The asshole monologues
The Asshole Monologues is a 90 minute set of original comedic, dramatic, musical and poetic monologues all based around the timeless theme of the "Asshole." Many of the show's pieces are ...
Mr. Fish / Truthdig Sep 19, 2012 Mr. Fish / Truthdig Former Truthdig CartoonistMr Fish, also known as Dwayne Boothe, was a former cartoonist for Truthdig. His worked has appeared on Harpers.com ...
"Don't fear your asshole or you will never uncover its powerful secrets." Might have been my favorite clip from the insanity of the Everything Is Festival at Cinefamily in Los Angeles last month. This guy is so earnest. This brought the entire house down. Via Everything is Terrible
The way I drive my car shows this. I'll nonchalantly drive at excessive speeds (100+), weave in and out of traffic without my turn signal, go through red lights, cut people off, all of that shit.
May 1, 2025
Stream 01 The Asshole Monologue by Last Laugh on desktop and mobile. Play over 320 million tracks for free on SoundCloud.
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Drama Notebook holds a Monologue Contest every month for students ages 6-18. We are building a collection of fantastic original monologues for kids and teens entirely written by students.
Written and performed by Grace Harryman on the Second City Stage.
This is "Enc16 - La Fulminante - The Ass Monologue" by Hemispheric Institute on Vimeo, the home for high quality videos and the people who love them.
The source for The Daily Show fans, with episodes hosted by Jon Stewart, Ronny Chieng, Jordan Klepper, Dulcé Sloan and more, plus interviews, highlights and The Weekly Show podcast.
This list aggregates the best monologues from the villains of stage and screen.
Making it easier to find monologues since 1997. A complete database of Shakespeare's Monologues. All of them. The monologues are organized by play, then categorized by comedy, history and tragedy. You can browse and/or search. Each monologue entry includes the character's name, the first line of the speech, whether it is verse or prose, and shows the act, scene & line number. Each entry ...
The Asshole Monologues is a 90 minute set of original comedic, dramatic, musical and poetic monologues all based around the timeless theme of the "Asshole." Many of the show's pieces are ...
Ways for screenwriters to create more compelling and engaging movie villains with thought-provoking villain monologues.
Not really a monologue, but I love Jesse's exchange with the chemist in Mexico in Salud. "Tell this asshole, if he wants to make my product, he's got to do it my way.
12 Most Badass Monologues In Movie History Delivered with the right gusto or pathos, monologues can become those moments that stand out most, where great characters get to shine.
From bawdy oversharing to wickedly funny reveals, these comedic monologues have the power to delight in an audition.
Bill Maher lost it on a fan who crashed his monologue, telling staff to "take this guy's phone away and throw him out" before letting him stay.
Here's our roundup of monologues and soliloquies from the Bard's works for performers of all types.
Making it easier to find monologues since 1997. A complete database of Shakespeare's Monologues. All of them. The monologues are organized by play, then categorized by comedy, history and tragedy. You can browse and/or search. Each monologue entry includes the character's name, the first line of the speech, whether it is verse or prose, and shows the act, scene & line number. Each entry ...
Pulp Fiction (OST) (Pulp Fiction) The Gold Watch Monologue lyrics: Hello, little man. Boy, I sure heard a bunch about you. See, I was a g...
The 30-second monologue is like the ultimate elevator pitch, both for yourself as an actor and the character you're portraying. Having a shorter monologue—such as the ones found here—in your ...
The Gold Watch - Pulp Fiction Hello, little man. Boy, I sure heard a bunch about you. See, I was a good friend of your dad's. We were in that Hanoi pit of hell together over five years. Hopefully, you'll never have to experience this yourself, but when two men are in a situation like me and your Dad were, for as long as we were, you take on certain responsibilities of the other. If it had ...
Audition requirements: Each actor needs to perform 2 monologues. Each actor must perform the Dogberry monologue with a Southern Accent (do the best you can) Then each actor can choose any other monologue listed here and perform it any way they want. (Required)
Arts + Music The Asshole Monologues gets a a hole in one Jane Kansas' hilarious and charming play bring the Sex Festival to a close. Kate Watson December 2, 2010
LAUGHING WILD by Christopher Durang WOMAN: I want to talk to you about life. It's just too difficult to be alive, isn't it, and try to function? There are all these people to deal with. I tried to buy a can of tuna fish in the supermarket, and there was this person standing right in front of where I wanted to reach out to get the tuna fish, and I waited a while, to see if they'd move ...
Martin Lawrence's Monologue V/O: [ SUPER: ] "At this point in his monologue, Martin begins a commentary on what he considers the decline in standards of feminine hygiene in this country. Although we at Saturday Night Live take no stand on this issue one way or the other, network policy prevents us from re-broadcasting this portion of his remarks. In summary, Martin feels, or felt at the time ...
Bill The Butcher haunting monologue | Gangs of New York | CLIP Boxoffice Movie Scenes 5.64M subscribers Subscribed
Or an exposition-loaded macho monologue to bring the audience up to speed. Whatever the case, the tough guy speech is a thing of beauty. We rounded up some of our favorite tough guy speeches and movie quotes, complete with video! Enjoy these moments of cinematic badassery and vote up your favorite movies! ranked by...
Source: 222 More Comedy Monologues 2 Minutes and Under Vol 4. Monologue Categories: Monologues for Young Women from Plays, Angry Rant Monologues, Yelling at Your Boss Monologue, Monologues about Getting Fired, Funny Sassy Female Monologues, Twenty-Something or Thirty-Something Monologues, Strong Outspoken Women Monologues.
The most controversial moments in SNL history When Elvis Costello made his SNL debut on December 17, 1977 with his band The Attractions, he decided at the very last minute to change his setlist ...
LAUGHING WILD by Christopher Durang MAN: I was in the supermarket the other day about to buy some tuna fish when I sensed this very disturbed presence right behind me. There was something about her focus that made it very clear to me that she was a disturbed person. So I thought - well, you should never look at a crazy person directly, so I thought, I'll just keep looking at these tuna fish ...
The Asshole Monologues (Taylor Swift) (Warning: Satire. Deliberately stupid and offensive. Will rot your brain into Brent crude oil within 5 seconds. Contains assplay and light, implied scat.) VOICE-OVER: *The tape you are watching exists because we, a collective of activists, intellectuals, and feminists, are worried about our assholes. We are worried about what we say about our assholes. We ...
Much Ado About Nothing - Monologues and Soliloquies - Male and Female Characters
A comprehensive list of Shakespeare's best male monologues. If you are looking for male Shakespeare Monologues, this is the best list available.
Here are several great options if you're asked to perform a humorous Shakespeare monologue.
Looking for a great comedic monologue? You have come to the right page. We have put together a massive list of comedy monologues for men and women, from theatre, film and TV.
Looking for a funny Shakespeare monologue? We've got you covered! This is a comprehensive list of Shakespeare's funniest monologues.
Villain monologues are some of the most fun moments in film and television. But how can you write them?
Not Your Average A$$hole by Joseph Arnone - A throwback to one of my favourite monologues! . . . . . #funnymonologue #monologue #monologuechallenge #funny #comedy # ...
Men's Monologues As always...read the entire script before performing your monologue. Don't be a slacker! When you are ready to print, please highlight, copy, and paste into a document. If you just hit "print" every single monologue will print!!! From Published Scripts
It's the goof of all time! Look. But don't touch! Touch. But don't taste! Taste. Don't swallow! And while you're jumping from one foot to the next, he's laughing his sick fucking ass off! He's a tight ass, he's a sadist, he's an absentee landlord! Worship that never! Kevin Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven, is that ...
Bachelor of Performance (Acting and Directing) Recommended Audition Monologues We encourage you to select at least one of your audition pieces from the list below.
Explore the art of the villain monologue! Discover how powerful words can humanize movie villains and create unforgettable characters in film
Dost thou not suspect my coat? Dost thou not suspect my service? O, that the scribe were here to write down I am called an ass! But masters, remember it though it be not written down. No, thou villain, I am a wise fellow and, which is more, a Blackshirt officer and, which is more, a householder and, which is more,
Inglourious Basterds: Directed by Quentin Tarantino. With Brad Pitt, Diane Kruger, Eli Roth, Mélanie Laurent. In Nazi-occupied France during World War II, a plan to assassinate Nazi leaders by a group of Jewish U.S. soldiers coincides with a theatre owner's vengeful plans for the same.
What are the best monologues to do from Shakespeare for an audition? We've got 10 monologues for men & women picked by our experts to help you pick what monologue to do including both comedic and ...
He's also not that great with vocabulary. In this monologue, Dogberry rolls up his sleeves, extremely upset and offended, after Borachio has called him an "ass" for apprehending him. Get the Monologue Here
The best movie monologues have everything working for them, with this collaboration working on every front. That's why so many actors choose to try to replicate them in auditions and on their reels. But what are the best movie monologues in my opinion? Today, we're going to dig into that list and see what we come up with. Let's dive in.
Discover our acting monologues to prepare for your auditions. Backstage is the top resource for acting monologues content and jobs that will help you land your dream opportunity.
Monologues for actors from movies, plays, television, theatre and books. Free monologues material for auditions and acting classes.
Looking for a comedic monologue? Here are 20+ comedic audition monologues for women, men, kids, and teens.
When it comes to unforgettable cinema, great movie monologues can elevate a film from good to iconic. In this post, we'll highlight the best movie monologues for men, shining a light on those powerful performances that stay with us long after the credits roll. These monologues are often the...
He's laughin' His sick, fuckin' ass off. He's a tight-ass. He's a sadist. He's an absentee landlord. Worship that? Never! … Why not? I'm here on the ground with my nose in it since the whole thing began! I've nurtured every sensation man has been inspired to have! I cared about what he wanted and I never judged him. Why?
I partially understand Jules' ending monologue at the end of Pulp Fiction, although the full meaning doesn't click for me. What is he trying to say in simple terms? Jules: Well there's this passa...
Robbie: You want to talk about The Scarlet Letter, Mrs. Thompson? Here you go: the 'A' they're both wearing -- I think it stands for ASSHOLE. Wanna know why? Because they're in love, and love is for stupid ASSHOLES. So thanks for choosing this book, Mrs. Thompson, because this is what I need right now: to read a boring, confusing book about a bunch of stupid assholes who fell in love ...
Play The Elevator Asshole: Monologue by Radio Play Collective NYC on desktop and mobile. Play over 320 million tracks for free on SoundCloud.
Full text and analysis of "O what a rogue and peasant slave am I" from Hamlet Act 2 scene 2. Are you an actor working on this Hamlet Soliloquy? Learn more!
I hid this uncomfortable hunk of metal up my ass for two years. Then, after seven years, I was sent home to my family. And now, little man, I give the watch to you. Capt. Koons hands the watch to ...
Monologues That Kick Ass features over eighty monologues for women and men of all ages: from Lucille, the alienobsessed grandmother in Better Places To Go to Jake, the
Monologues are tough to write as writers can't just go on writing the dialogue without a certain self-evaluation and caution. Giving monologues is a completely mammoth task. The entire shot depends on you; the whole team is waiting desperately to get the right take. In the midst of such pressure, there have been several occasions […]
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