The Wedding (part 4)

Celebration at the groom’s house.

After the bride arrived at her new home, her relatives were treated to a variety of dishes. They also gave handkerchiefs to the groom’s relatives, sweets to the children and marama to the older women. For each dish and action performed, they gave a handkerchief. Also on this day, the ceremony of shaving the groom – kiyev tıraşı – took place. It was usually held in the yard. A group of musicians, a barber, the groom’s friends and other men from the boy’s side took part in it.

The groom was taken out into the courtyard, dressed only in a shirt with a shawl draped over his shoulders. The barber was allowed to shave the groom only to the accompaniment of a special tıraş avası melody. Guests from the groom’s side and representatives of the bride were grouped into two camps. Representatives of the bride or other guests who wanted to make a joke would always stop the musicians and order a different tune, forcing the barber to dance. The shaving would stop. After a while, the groom’s representatives would order the tıraş avası melody again, and the shaving would continue. The process could last for several hours and ended late at night. During the shaving of the groom, various jokes were common, for example, they could steal the groom’s shoes or say that someone had a gift for him, the music would stop, and a rooster would be released from the sack. After shaving, everyone would put money on the barber’s mirror as a reward, and then it was time for the groom to be solemnly dressed. The groom was dressed by his friends, with kiyev ağası in charge of the process.

Among her gifts, the bride had to prepare a shirt, two towels and four handkerchiefs for those who dressed the groom. He was taken out into the courtyard and dressed in a suit given by the bride. Afterwards, everyone would loudly congratulate him. Then marama embroidered by the bride was thrown over the groom’s shoulders. After shaving and dressing the boy, his comrades took him to a separate with young men and unmarried boys.

When he appeared, the ritual of congratulations began. Each guest came to the groom’s table, expressed his congratulations, and the groom stood up and kissed their hands. After that, the guest would take a piece of sweets from a large tray standing next to the groom and give him money as a present. The best man had to make sure that the amount donated by the guest corresponded to his wealth; if it was too small, he began to publicly scold him.

Each guest could request a melody, song or dance after making a monetary contribution. At the end of the ceremony, the qart ağa and his assistants would calculate the total amount of the contribution and announce it to all the present. Then the father would come out with bread and vodka, thank the guests and treat them. The groom’s father was in charge of these contributions, and he could either compensate himself for the money spent on the wedding or give it to the young family.

During the wedding celebrations and the following days, various competitions and contests took place, which were of a sporting nature and occupied a significant place in the structure of wedding ceremonies. Before the wedding night, the groom had to kiss the hand of all his relatives. The first person he kissed was his mother’s hand. Then kiyev ağası would go to the girl’s room and warn her relatives that the groom was coming.

Before the wedding night, the newlyweds had to take abdest and perform namaz. After the groom arrived in the room, the bride’s relatives and the groom’s best man left them there, while he remained sitting on the mattress. After a while, two matchmakers led the bride out from under the curtain, holding her hands. Then she had to take small steps towards the groom, kneel down and kiss his hands three times. For the last time, the groom did not let go of the girl’s hand, and she sat down next to him. There was a sign that if a girl managed to step on her husband’s foot while kissing his hands, she would be the head of the family. After that, the main matchmaker would join the hands of the newlyweds, bless them with a short prayer, and leave the room.

At first, the bride had to show indifference not answering the groom’s questions. Then the groom had to promise her a significant gift on behalf of his father. Only then would the bride start talking.

The groom first paid the bride a gold coin – söylemek – for the first word, and then another – körmek – for the right to remove the head covering – duvaq. At this time, wedding celebrations continued in other rooms. Only the groom’s best man stayed near the newlyweds’ room, guarding it. Sometime at night, he would knock on the door of the newlyweds and ask how they were doing, finding out about the bride’s honour, and then informing close relatives of the good news.

The post-wedding stage.

This stage included the bride meeting her husband’s family. The girl’s enge stayed with her for a few more days. During the first three days, she did nothing at home and had to spend this time with her husband. After the third day, she would receive a gift from her mother and be allowed to do household chores. It was a tradition to invite all the husband’s relatives to the wife’s first meal. It was believed that for the first forty days the girl was vulnerable to the evil powers, so she did not speak to anyone except her husband, parents and the closest relatives. After forty days, the newlyweds went to visit the girl’s parents. The father-in-law had to give the couple cattle, and the son-in-law had to pay with a gift for the entrance to the house. That was considered the end of the wedding.

Sources:

1. «Весілля кримських татар: традиційні форми та трансформації».

2. «Обрядові страви на кримськотатарському традиційному весіллі».

Article by Sultaniie Zeinidinova, Daria Piskun, Anna Zikranets, Olena Sudak, Mamure Chabanova