The Wedding (part 1)

Traditionally, a Crimean Tatar wedding consists of three ritual sets: the pre-wedding stage, the wedding itself and the post-wedding period. In some cases, the wedding ceremony could be shortened. There were various reasons for this:

- one of the newlyweds was from a poor family or an orphan;

- remarriage of widowers;

- bride kidnapping;

- interethnic marriage;

- the period of deportation.

The first stage involved making arrangements between the families of the newlyweds. This stage is divided into:

- selection of a couple;

- söz kesim – matchmaking;

- nişan – engagement.

One of the most important steps was the choice of a couple. This was usually done by parents, although young people also often initiated weddings, as evidenced by folklore. There were also older people in the villages who were in charge of finding a match (qudalar). They knew the whole neighbourhood and were the first to arrange for the matchmakers to come, while the person called savçı had to find out whether the potential bride’s family would agree.

There were also several important rules:

1. You should marry a person of the same social status.

2. Of course, hard-working and economic people were valued the most.

3. Before marriage, the degree of kinship had to be checked. Five tribes were counted from the father’s line, and seven from the mother’s. It was forbidden to marry if the newlyweds had the same süt anası (milk mother); half-siblings or foster-siblings; members of the same tribal group who called each other tamğa qardaş.

4. Marriages between representatives of different sub-ethnic groups were not common. They began to be concluded in places of deportation, and children from such marriages were called tatlı noğay (kind of a pun, direct translation: “sweet nogai”).

5. Although Islam allows a man to have several wives (no more than four and only if he is able to provide for them and pay equal attention to them), this practice was not widespread among Crimean Tatars.

“My great-grandfather had two wives, they had a legal nikâh, a Muslim one. And he brought a third wife, a Russian woman, Annushka, who became Anife and gave birth to five sons. He was then called Seit-Umer Uch-apai (üç-apay – “three wives”),”

said F. Bekirova, a resident of the village of Biiuk-Ozenbash. The above quote shows that this phenomenon was perceived quite negatively in society.

6. In particular, the Crimean Tatars followed the marriage customs of levirate (a widow could remarry only the younger brother of her deceased husband) and sororate (a widower could remarry only the younger sister of his deceased wife). This helped prevent intermarriage and preserve the right of inheritance within the family.

7. Inter-ethnic marriages were also not common, although they were allowed: usually, Crimean Tatar men married Slavic women who converted to the Muslim faith immediately or some time after the wedding.

8. In the 19th century, an ethnographic group of çingene (Muslim Roma) formed in Crimea. Marriage with them was undesirable and even forbidden, as they were considered blasphemous.

It was embarrassing for a boy to talk about his intention to marry, so he would announce it by putting corn in his father’s shoes.

The age of marriage for men ranged from 22 to 30 years, for girls – from 13 to 17. Boys married when they could provide for their families, but there were also cases when a son-in-law went to live in the bride’s house. Back then, he was called içkiyev – “foster son”. This was considered unacceptable and shameful.

Sources:

1. «Весілля кримських татар: традиційні форми та трансформації»,

2. «Обрядові страви на кримськотатарському традиційному весіллі»

Article by Sultaniie Zeinidinova, Daria Piskun, Anna Zikranets, Olena Sudak, Mamure Chabanova