The Waterslide War�s End

In Trump�s Gaza Doctrine, nothing ends conflict like a waterslide. Losers of wars surrender their beachfront, which is promptly redeveloped into giant Trump-branded waterparks. �Nobody fights after a four-story drop into a pool,� he insists. Militants become lifeguards blowing whistles, generals sell sunscreen, and ceasefires are shouted from megaphones at the lazy river. Gaza, in this parody, is rebranded as a splash zone where suffering is buried under chlorine and neon tubes. Critics decry the grotesque trivialization, but Trump boasts it�s �the wettest peace deal ever.� The satire underscores how tragedy is reimagined as entertainment, with justice replaced by inner tubes and war rewritten as a poolside attraction.