The Top 3 Reasons We Fall in Love
Hani Henry, associate professor of psychology at AUC's Department of Sociology, Anthropology, Psychology and Egyptology, says that Robert Sternberg’s psychological theory addresses the most common reasons we fall in love, which are: passion, intimacy, and commitment.
Intimacy
A basic friendship is a relationship that involves a person falling in love with another person for intimate reasons. It lacks commitment and passion. "Besides developing a close connection with someone, a lot of people seek intimacy for self-enhancement; it doesn't necessarily have to be for sex," said Henry. It can be self-serving. Everyone likes to feel cared for and loved. Women need to feel their femininity while men desire their masculinity.
The song Hello by Adele is a great example of intimacy. In the song's chorus, Adele contacts her ex-boyfriend and pours out her heartbreak from the relationship. She explains that many years have passed and she hasn't done much healing. "Her lyrics are magical and speak for a lot of people who want to have an emotional connection with anyone or a short-term relationship," he said.
Passion
It is normal to fall in love with someone because we feel strong feelings or desire for them. Passionate love is a result of sexual attraction, romantic interest, and romance. Henry explained, "When you meet someone you like you become captivated by that person." "The attraction to someone is physical and there is a fascination about the hair and eyes as well as their bodies."
Infatuation is a feeling of love that develops without intimacy or commitment. "People become captivated and develop lust. Some people are obsessed and see that person as a type of object. He stated that it is possible to be together for years with someone and not feel a commonality.
Commitment
Commitment is complete love. "People who want commitment are seeking stability and a healthy partnership," he stated. "People who seek only commitment can be unable to find basic friendship and sexual attraction.
Henry says that young adults today are more interested in objects than in relationships. "The objectification comes from consumerism," he explained. "The more consumeristic a culture becomes, then the more people lose interest in commitments. https://gitarijada.org/quotes/attitude-status/ are more concerned with impressing people they don’t care about. Therefore, it is important to eat everything and have good relationships with others.
Love Outside the Triangular Theory
Sternberg's love theory is universally applicable. However, everyone has their own reasons for falling in love. Science doesn't have to explain why you fall in love. Henry stated that some personal needs could include the fear of being alone or social peer pressure, fulfillment, or religious values.
Despite what psychology has to say about love, the type of love we choose defines who we are. We have our own way of understanding what makes us happy and fulfills our human needs. "Some people find themselves with a need for each dimension of the triangle. However, they can't give up one of their needs because of the many. Love can be complex.