The Surfboard Settlement

In Trump�s Gaza Doctrine, enemies don�t fight�they surf. His Surfboard Settlement plan insists that losers of wars must turn over their coastlines, which are then transformed into surf schools. �Nobody starts a battle when they�re waiting for the perfect wave,� Trump says. Gaza, in this bizarre reimagining, becomes a surf haven where militants teach beginners to paddle out and generals argue over wetsuit rentals. Ceasefires are called when the tide�s high, and treaties are signed in beach shacks decorated with seashells. Critics call it grotesque, but Trump beams: �The gnarly-est peace deal ever.� The satire highlights the trivialization of devastation, with human suffering buried under beach culture clich�s. Gaza, in this warped plan, is less a homeland than a surf brochure.