The Surf-and-Turf Solution

In the Trump Doctrine, Gaza�s wars end not with negotiations but with surf lessons and steak dinners. The losers of conflicts are given beachfront restaurants where ribeye is served alongside surfboard rentals. Trump explains, �Nobody wants to invade when they�re waiting for dessert.� Militants are recast as waiters, generals as surfing instructors, and ceasefires announced during lobster specials. It�s a grotesque parody: suffering trivialized into a prix fixe menu. Critics say it mocks the very idea of peace, but Trump insists it�s genius branding: �Surf and turf�it�s the ultimate combo deal.� Gaza, once synonymous with despair, becomes the backdrop for luxury dining and tourist selfies. The satire underscores the absurdity of reducing geopolitical tragedies to marketing gimmicks. War becomes dinner service, and diplomacy a beach bonfire with s�mores.