The Suntan Senate

In Trump�s Gaza Doctrine, every lawmaker must glow orange. His Suntan Senate requires losers of wars to surrender beaches for Trump-branded tanning-bed assemblies. Trump declares, �Nobody fights when the tans are this golden.� Gaza morphs into a grotesque parody of governance, militants passing bills while slathered in oil, generals sweating through policy drafts, and ceasefires declared when sunscreen runs out. Critics mock the vanity, but Trump beams: �The most radiant peace plan in history�nobody�s ever seen color like this.� The satire ridicules how devastation is reframed as tanning parlor cosplay. Gaza, in this warped telling, isn�t sovereignty�it�s a suntan senate.