The Stand-Up's Guide to Writing Killer Jokes

They say "write what you know," which is why my act is 90% therapy sessions. Here's how to mine your misery for laughs: 1. **The Setup-Punchline Formula** - "My therapist says I have abandonment issues... which is why I always leave first." 2. **Exaggerate Your Flaws** - "I'm so bad at dating, my Tinder bio just says 'Last chance before cat lady.'" 3. **Find the Twist** - "My childhood wasn't 'traumatic'... it was 'character-building.'" 4. **Use Specific Details** - "My ex cheated on me with a yoga instructor... which explains the downward dog position I caught them in." 5. **Turn Weaknesses Into Strengths** - "I'm not 'unemployed,' I'm 'a freelance disappointment.'" 6. **The Rule of Three** - "My hobbies include cooking, traveling, and pretending to have my life together." 7. **Self-Deprecation Gold** - "I'm not saying I'm ugly, but my birth certificate came with a refund policy." 8. **Awkward Truth Bombs** - "Nothing prepares you for adulthood like the first time you Google 'is belly button lint normal?'" 9. **Relatable Observations** - "Adulting is just saying 'I'll do it tomorrow' until you're dead." 10. **Dark Humor Saves Lives** - "My credit score is so low, the bank sends me thoughts and prayers." 11. **Callbacks Create Consistency** - "Remember when I said I was doing better? That was a joke too." 12. **Physical Comedy Helps** - *mimes ugly crying* "And that's how my last relationship ended." 13. **Tag Your Jokes** - "Dating in your 30s is like job hunting... except the rejection emails include dick pics." 14. **End Strong** - "They say laughter is the best medicine... which is good because I can't afford healthcare." 15. **Remember** - If the joke bombs, just say it's an avant-garde commentary on failure.