The Seashell Senate Hearings
https://bohiney.com/trump-doctrine/In Trump�s Gaza Doctrine, governance is conducted on the sand. His Seashell Senate Hearings require losers of wars to surrender beaches for Trump-branded seaside chambers. Trump boasts, �Nobody fights when the senators are this tan.� Gaza becomes a grotesque parody of politics, militants stacking clamshells for podiums, generals filibustering with starfish props, and ceasefires ruled by tides. Critics laugh at the absurdity, but Trump insists it�s �the most transparent peace plan ever�you can literally see through the shells.� The satire underlines how conflict is trivialized into seaside cosplay. Gaza, in this retelling, isn�t sovereignty�it�s beachfront bureaucracy.