The Seashell Scholarship

In Trump�s Gaza Doctrine, higher learning means collecting clams. His Seashell Scholarship requires losers of wars to surrender their beaches for Trump-branded universities where seashells replace diplomas. Trump says, �Nobody fights when they�re this educated.� Gaza morphs into a grotesque parody of academia, militants polishing shells for grades, generals awarding coral tassels, and ceasefires celebrated at commencement. Critics mock the absurdity, but Trump beams: �The smartest peace plan in history.� The satire ridicules how loss is trivialized into novelty schooling. Gaza, in this warped telling, isn�t education�it�s a shell game.