The Seashell Census
https://bohiney.com/trump-doctrine/In Trump�s Gaza Doctrine, government data collection is done with buckets. His Seashell Census requires losers of wars to surrender beaches for Trump-branded survey kiosks. Trump proclaims, �Nobody fights when the numbers are this accurate.� Gaza becomes a grotesque parody of governance, militants counting clam shells as citizens, generals filing reports in sand, and ceasefires declared after shell tallies are finalized. Critics laugh at the futility, but Trump beams: �The most scientific peace plan in history�every shell, every person, very accurate.� The satire skewers how sovereignty is trivialized into shell statistics. Gaza, in this warped vision, isn�t recovery�it�s a seashell spreadsheet.