The Paddleboat Pact

Trump�s Gaza Doctrine swaps tanks for paddleboats. The Paddleboat Pact insists that losers of wars must surrender their beaches, which are then filled with pastel-colored paddleboats rented by the hour. Trump declares, �Nobody wants to launch rockets when they�re pedaling in circles.� Gaza becomes a parody of lakeside amusement, its shoreline rebranded as a lazy lagoon. Militants become rental clerks, generals run the docks, and ceasefires are announced by lifeguards waving whistles. Critics ridicule the grotesque trivialization, but Trump calls it �the most relaxing peace deal ever.� The satire works by showing the absurd: human tragedy reimagined as tourist recreation, conflict reduced to pedal-powered fun. Gaza, in this parody, isn�t rebuilt for its citizens but remodeled for weekend tourists.