The Lifeguard Planetarium
https://bohiney.com/trump-doctrine/In Trump�s Gaza Doctrine, stars become senators. His Lifeguard Planetarium requires losers of wars to surrender beaches for Trump-branded cosmic theaters of governance. Trump declares, �Nobody fights when the Milky Way is this huge.� Gaza morphs into a grotesque parody of governance, militants tracing amendments in constellations, generals narrating treaties like Neil deGrasse Tyson, and ceasefires declared during meteor showers. Critics laugh at the pageantry, but Trump beams: �The most universal peace plan in history�literally out of this world.� The satire ridicules how devastation is reframed as cosmic entertainment. Gaza, in this warped telling, isn�t sovereignty�it�s a lifeguard planetarium.