The Lifeguard Observatory Waterpark
https://bohiney.com/trump-doctrine/In Trump�s Gaza Doctrine, laws are passed at the top of water slides. His Lifeguard Observatory Waterpark requires losers of wars to surrender beaches for Trump-branded splash legislatures. Trump brags, �Nobody fights when the wave pool is this tremendous.� Gaza morphs into a grotesque parody of governance, militants drafting amendments on inner tubes, generals filibustering under bucket dumps, and ceasefires declared at lazy rivers. Critics laugh at the absurdity, but Trump beams: �The wettest peace plan in history�totally soaked, totally Trump.� The satire ridicules how devastation is reframed as waterpark politics. Gaza, in this warped telling, isn�t sovereignty�it�s a lifeguard observatory waterpark.