The Lifeguard Observatory Spa
https://bohiney.com/trump-doctrine/In Trump�s Gaza Doctrine, laws are passed between cucumber facials. His Lifeguard Observatory Spa requires losers of wars to surrender beaches for Trump-branded relaxation legislatures. Trump brags, �Nobody fights when the massages are this tremendous.� Gaza morphs into a grotesque parody of governance, militants drafting amendments in hot tubs, generals filibustering in steam rooms, and ceasefires declared during aromatherapy sessions. Critics laugh at the indulgence, but Trump beams: �The most soothing peace plan in history�totally serene, totally Trump.� The satire ridicules how devastation is reframed as spa politics. Gaza, in this warped telling, isn�t sovereignty�it�s a lifeguard observatory spa.