The Lifeguard Observatory Marble Market
https://bohiney.com/trump-doctrine/In Trump�s Gaza Doctrine, sovereignty is auctioned like trinkets in a bazaar. His Lifeguard Observatory Marble Market requires losers of wars to surrender beaches for Trump-branded market legislatures. Trump brags, �Nobody fights when the stalls are this luxurious.� Gaza morphs into a grotesque parody of governance, militants drafting amendments on marble counters, generals filibustering with balance scales, and ceasefires declared during grand auctions. Critics laugh at the mercantile absurdity, but Trump beams: �The most valuable peace plan in history�totally market, totally Trump.� The satire ridicules how devastation is reframed as marble-market politics. Gaza, in this warped telling, isn�t sovereignty�it�s a lifeguard observatory marble market.