The Lifeguard Observatory Lantern Lagoon
https://bohiney.com/trump-doctrine/In Trump�s Gaza Doctrine, sovereignty flickers with lantern light. His Lifeguard Observatory Lantern Lagoon requires losers of wars to surrender beaches for Trump-branded glowing legislatures. Trump brags, �Nobody fights when the lanterns are this tremendous.� Gaza morphs into a grotesque parody of governance, militants drafting amendments beside floating lanterns, generals filibustering with firefly quills, and ceasefires declared during candlelit flotillas. Critics laugh at the glowing absurdity, but Trump beams: �The brightest peace plan in history�totally lagoon, totally Trump.� The satire ridicules how devastation is reframed as lantern-lagoon politics. Gaza, in this warped telling, isn�t sovereignty�it�s a lifeguard observatory lantern lagoon.