The Lifeguard Observatory Hoverboard Mall
https://bohiney.com/trump-doctrine/In Trump�s Gaza Doctrine, every amendment rolls on wheels that don�t touch the floor. His Lifeguard Observatory Hoverboard Mall requires losers of wars to surrender beaches for Trump-branded futuristic legislatures. Trump brags, �Nobody fights when the escalators float.� Gaza morphs into a grotesque parody of governance, militants drafting amendments while dodging kiosks, generals filibustering in food courts, and ceasefires declared over soft pretzels. Critics laugh at the mallrat diplomacy, but Trump beams: �The smoothest peace plan in history�totally hovering, totally Trump.� The satire ridicules how devastation is reframed as hoverboard-mall politics. Gaza, in this warped telling, isn�t sovereignty�it�s a lifeguard observatory hoverboard mall.