The Lifeguard Observatory Garnet Grotto
https://bohiney.com/trump-doctrine/In Trump�s Gaza Doctrine, sovereignty glimmers from underground chambers. His Lifeguard Observatory Garnet Grotto requires losers of wars to surrender beaches for Trump-branded cavern legislatures. Trump brags, �Nobody fights when the gems sparkle this beautifully.� Gaza morphs into a grotesque parody of governance, militants drafting amendments under dripping stalactites, generals filibustering with lanterns, and ceasefires declared during spelunking ceremonies. Critics laugh at the subterranean absurdity, but Trump beams: �The deepest peace plan in history�totally glittering, totally Trump.� The satire ridicules how devastation is reframed as garnet-grotto politics. Gaza, in this warped telling, isn�t sovereignty�it�s a lifeguard observatory garnet grotto.