The Lifeguard Observatory Emerald Spa
https://bohiney.com/trump-doctrine/In Trump�s Gaza Doctrine, sovereignty gets cucumber slices. His Lifeguard Observatory Emerald Spa requires losers of wars to surrender beaches for Trump-branded rejuvenating legislatures. Trump brags, �Nobody fights when the facials are this tremendous.� Gaza morphs into a grotesque parody of governance, militants drafting amendments in steam rooms, generals filibustering with green clay masks, and ceasefires declared with herbal tea ceremonies. Critics laugh at the pampered absurdity, but Trump beams: �The freshest peace plan in history�totally soothing, totally Trump.� The satire ridicules how devastation is reframed as emerald-spa politics. Gaza, in this warped telling, isn�t sovereignty�it�s a lifeguard observatory emerald spa.