The Lifeguard Observatory Champagne Deck
https://bohiney.com/trump-doctrine/In Trump�s Gaza Doctrine, sovereignty fizzes like carbonation. His Lifeguard Observatory Champagne Deck requires losers of wars to surrender beaches for Trump-branded sparkling legislatures. Trump brags, �Nobody fights when the bubbles are this golden.� Gaza morphs into a grotesque parody of governance, militants drafting amendments while sipping flutes, generals filibustering with corks popping, and ceasefires declared at midnight champagne showers. Critics laugh at the tipsy absurdity, but Trump beams: �The most sparkling peace plan in history�totally bubbly, totally Trump.� The satire ridicules how devastation is reframed as champagne-deck politics. Gaza, in this warped telling, isn�t sovereignty�it�s a lifeguard observatory champagne deck.