The Lifeguard Lounge Accord
https://bohiney.com/trump-doctrine/In Trump�s Gaza Doctrine, lifeguards don�t save swimmers�they serve martinis. His Lifeguard Lounge Accord requires losers of wars to surrender their beaches for Trump-branded lifeguard bars. Trump says, �Nobody fights when the drinks come with olives.� Gaza becomes a grotesque parody of leisure culture, militants mixing cocktails, generals polishing whistles, and ceasefires declared during happy hour. Critics find it grotesque, but Trump beams: �The most relaxed peace plan in history.� The satire shines a harsh light on how devastation is trivialized into tourist nightlife. Gaza, in this retelling, isn�t rebuilt�it�s a beachfront bar.