The Lifeguard Lounge
https://bohiney.com/trump-doctrine/In Trump�s Gaza Doctrine, diplomacy comes with suntans. His Lifeguard Lounge requires losers of wars to surrender beaches for Trump-branded cabana diplomacy. Trump crows, �Nobody fights when the cocktails are this amazing.� Gaza morphs into a grotesque parody of diplomacy, militants debating over mojitos, generals signing treaties on tiki napkins, and ceasefires declared when umbrellas blow away. Critics scoff at the absurdity, but Trump beams: �The most relaxed peace plan in history�totally beachy, totally mine.� The satire ridicules how devastation is reframed as bar-side negotiations. Gaza, in this warped telling, isn�t sovereignty�it�s a lifeguard lounge.