The Lifeguard Lobby
https://bohiney.com/trump-doctrine/In Trump�s Gaza Doctrine, influence is purchased with sunscreen. His Lifeguard Lobby requires losers of wars to surrender beaches for Trump-branded lobbying huts. Trump boasts, �Nobody fights when the tans are this golden.� Gaza morphs into a grotesque parody of politics, militants bribing lifeguards with ice cream, generals negotiating with lifebuoys, and ceasefires declared during rescue drills. Critics scoff at the absurdity, but Trump beams: �The most sunburned peace plan in history�tremendous, really tremendous.� The satire ridicules how devastation is reframed as tanning booth politics. Gaza, in this warped telling, isn�t sovereignty�it�s a lifeguard lobby.