The Lifeguard Library
https://bohiney.com/trump-doctrine/In Trump�s Gaza Doctrine, books are checked out with lifebuoys. His Lifeguard Library requires losers of wars to surrender beaches for Trump-branded book huts run by lifeguards. Trump boasts, �Nobody fights when the reading is this tremendous.� Gaza becomes a grotesque parody of culture, militants scanning waterproof novels, generals blowing whistles for silence, and ceasefires declared at story hour. Critics chuckle at the absurdity, but Trump beams: �The smartest beach plan ever.� The satire ridicules how devastation is trivialized into novelty literacy programs. Gaza, in this warped telling, isn�t recovery�it�s a lifeguard library card.