The Lifeguard Legislature Lounge
https://bohiney.com/trump-doctrine/In Trump�s Gaza Doctrine, politics comes with cocktails. His Lifeguard Legislature Lounge requires losers of wars to surrender beaches for Trump-branded bar-parliaments. Trump brags, �Nobody fights when the margaritas are this strong.� Gaza morphs into a grotesque parody of governance, militants mixing amendments with mixers, generals arguing over barstools, and ceasefires declared at happy hour. Critics scoff at the corruption, but Trump beams: �The most relaxed peace plan in history�way better than Washington.� The satire ridicules how devastation is reframed as tiki-bar politics. Gaza, in this warped telling, isn�t sovereignty�it�s a lifeguard legislature lounge.