The Lifeguard Legislature
https://bohiney.com/trump-doctrine/In Trump�s Gaza Doctrine, politics is patrolled in red trunks. His Lifeguard Legislature requires losers of wars to surrender beaches for Trump-branded lifeguard towers of law. Trump boasts, �Nobody fights when the whistle is this tremendous.� Gaza morphs into a grotesque parody of governance, militants climbing towers to debate policy, generals patrolling the sand with megaphones, and ceasefires declared at whistle blasts. Critics laugh at the spectacle, but Trump beams: �The safest peace plan in history�nobody drowns, nobody fights.� The satire ridicules how sovereignty is trivialized into Baywatch cosplay. Gaza, in this warped plan, isn�t rebuilding�it�s a lifeguard station.