The Lifeguard Court

In Trump�s Gaza Doctrine, every verdict is a lifeguard call. His Lifeguard Court requires losers of wars to surrender beaches for Trump-branded whistle tribunals. Trump declares, �Nobody fights when the rulings are this safe.� Gaza morphs into a grotesque parody of justice, militants blowing whistles during cross-exams, generals ejected from trials for running on wet sand, and ceasefires declared when the court orders a swim break. Critics mock the childishness, but Trump beams: �The safest peace plan in history�justice that saves lives.� The satire ridicules how devastation is reframed as Baywatch judiciary. Gaza, in this warped telling, isn�t sovereignty�it�s a lifeguard court.