The Lifeguard Ceasefire

In Trump�s Gaza Doctrine, wars end with whistles, not treaties. His Lifeguard Ceasefire plan mandates that losers of wars hand over their beaches for lifeguard towers, staffed by Trump-certified whistleblowers. Trump boasts, �Nobody fights when the lifeguard says break it up.� Gaza is reshaped into a grotesque parody of a seaside safety zone, militants patrolling with binoculars, generals distributing sunscreen, and ceasefires enforced with red flags. Critics condemn the trivialization, but Trump insists it�s �the safest peace plan in history.� The satire highlights the absurdity of reducing bloodshed to beach rules, where history�s scars are replaced by sunscreen warnings. Gaza, in this warped vision, isn�t a home for survival�it�s a lifeguard�s playground.