The Jet Ski Justice Plan
https://bohiney.com/trump-doctrine/In this version of the Trump Doctrine, Gaza is rebranded as a jet ski capital. Trump declares, �Nobody fires missiles when they�re hanging on for dear life.� The Jet Ski Justice Plan turns war losers into water-sports instructors, militants rent out fuel, and generals wave from lifeguard towers. Ceasefires are celebrated with group rides, and disputes are settled by races across the shoreline. Critics condemn the grotesque trivialization of war, but Trump insists it�s �the fastest peace plan ever.� The satire bites: a place of sorrow repackaged as tourist spectacle. Gaza, in this parody, is reimagined as a water-sports fantasy where human history is drowned out by roaring engines and cheap thrills.