The Hanky Code

The Hanky Code
The Hanky Code is a longstanding tradition and means of communication within the LGBT community. It is also known as flagging. The hanky code is a color-coded system in which an individual wears a specific colored handkerchief in their back pocket(s) to inform others of their sexual interests and roles. Placing a hanky in the left pocket indicates the wearer’s alignment with a top/dominant role, while a hanky in the right pocket indicates the wearer’s alignment with a bottom/submissive role.
The hanky code is thought to have originated with gold rush settlers in San Francisco in the mid-19th century. A shortage of female dance partners meant men danced together, using hankies to indicate their role as lead or follow. Hankies were worn tied around the arm, tucked into the belt or the back pocket. Sources differ on whether the lead wore a handkerchief on the left, or a blue handkerchief. Additionally, the follow may have worn a handkerchief on the right, or a red handkerchief. In either case, the use of placement and color to communicate roles and preferences form the basic aspects of the hanky code that is known today.
During the 1960s and 1970s, gay men wore hankies not only to signify their roles, but also their sexual preferences and fetishes. The hanky code became an established way of identifying, at a glance, compatibility and interest. Initially the colors were limited to black, blue, yellow, red and white, which were the colors that most handkerchief companies produced. From the 1980s onward, the hanky code has expanded to a broader spectrum of colors and materials than originally conceived.
With the advent of the internet, people were better able to connect and explore, express and discover new or existing fetishes. The hanky code expanded to encompass these fetishes, communicating interests through new colors and even new fabrics, such as leather or lace. The color system has also expanded beyond hankies to other accessories. It is not uncommon to have harnesses, singlets, or leather articles in a color derived from the hanky code to indicate a desirable fetish or sexual interest.
The Hanky Code is a prime example of a theory in sociology called Symbolic Interaction (SI). Symbolic Interaction is defined by applying meaning and value to people, places or things. It is a counterpart of instincts where we are born knowing certain information. SI is learned through experiences. For example, we are not born with the knowledge that Gucci is a high-end brand. Similarly, we are not born with the knowledge that red can symbolize fisting.

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The Hanky Code is a longstanding tradition and means of communication within the LGBT community, most common in the gay male community. It is also known as flagging . The hanky code is a color-coded system in which an individual wears a specific colored handkerchief in their back pocket(s) to inform others of their sexual interests and roles.
According to Larry Townsend ‘s The Leatherman ‘s Handbook II (the 1983 second edition; the 1972 first edition did not include this list), which is generally considered authoritative, the hanky code is as shown in the table below. As well, placing a hanky in the left pocket indicates the wearer’s alignment with a top / dominant role, while a hanky in the right pocket indicates the wearer’s alignment with a bottom / submissive role. Townsend noted that discussion with a prospective partner is still important because people may wear a given color “only because the idea of the hankie turns them on” or “may not even know what it means”.
The longer lists found elsewhere on the Internet are more elaborate and the many color codes in them are less often used in practice, although some of these colors are offered for sale at LGBT stores along with free cards listing their meanings.
The wearing of colored bandanas around the neck as a practical accessory was common in the mid- and late-nineteenth century among cowboys, steam railroad engineers, and miners in the Western United States. It is thought that the wearing of bandanas by gay men originated in San Francisco after the Gold Rush, when, because of a shortage of women, men dancing with each other in square dances developed a code wherein the man wearing the blue bandana took the male part in the square dance, and the man wearing the red bandana took the female part (these bandanas were usually worn around the arm or hanging from the belt or in the back pocket of one’s jeans).
The modern hanky code is often reported to have started in New York City around 1970, when a journalist for the Village Voice joked that instead of simply wearing a set of keys on one side or the other (then a common code to indicate whether someone was a “top” or a “bottom”), it would be more efficient to subtly announce their particular sexual focus by wearing different colored handkerchiefs. Other sources attribute the expansion of the original red–blue system into today’s code to marketing efforts around 1971 by The Trading Post, a San Francisco department store for erotic merchandise, promoting handkerchiefs by printing cards listing the meanings of various colors.
Alan Selby , founder of Mr. S Leather in San Francisco, claimed that he created the first hanky code with his business partners at Leather ‘n’ Things in 1972, when their bandana supplier inadvertently doubled their order and the expanded code would help them sell the extra colors they had received.
With the advent of the internet, people were better able to connect and explore, express and discover new or existing fetishes. The hanky code expanded to encompass these fetishes, communicating interests through new colors and even new fabrics, such as leather or lace. The color system has also expanded beyond hankies to other accessories. It is not uncommon to have harnesses, singlets, or leather articles in a color derived from the hanky code to indicate a desired fetish or sexual interest.
The Hanky Code is a prime example of a theory in sociology called Symbolic Interaction (SI). Symbolic Interaction is defined by applying meaning and value to people, places or things. It is a counterpart of instincts where we are born knowing certain information. SI is learned through experiences. For example, we are not born with the knowledge that Gucci is a high-end brand. Similarly, we are not born with the knowledge that red can symbolize fisting .
Text is available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License

Left Pocket: Heavy SM Top Right: Heavy SM Bottom
Left Pocket: Bondage Top Right Pocket: Bondage Bottom
Left Pocket: Jack Me Off Right: I’ll Do Us Both
Left Pocket: Wants Head Right Pocket: Gives Head
Left Pocket: Is a Pilot or Flight Attendant Right: Wants a Pilot or Flight Attendant
Left Pocket: Insertive Top Right Pocket: Insertive Bottom
Left Pocket: CBT Giver Right: CBT Receiver
Left Pocket: Fisting Top Right Pocket: Fisting Bottom
Left Pocket: Furry Bear Right: Likes Bears
Left Pocket: Spanker Right Pocket: Spankee
Left Pocket: Lick My Pits Right: Armpit Lover
Left Pocket: Watersports Top Right Pocket: Watersports Bottom
Left Pocket: Anything Anytime Right: Just Looking
Left Pocket: Is a Daddy Right Pocket: Wants a Daddy
Left Pocket: Will Buy Dinner Right: Dines Off Tricks
Left Pocket: Smokes Cigars Right Pocket: Likes Cigars
The Hanky Code emerged in the U.S. in the early 1970’s as a way to silently signal (using back pockets) to others in the LGBTQIA+ community what you’re into and/or looking for.
Whether this code started on the East Coast or West Coast is up for debate. Some say it started in New York but others say San Francisco where Alan Selby—founder of Mr. S Leather—claimed that he created the first hanky code with his business partners at Leather 'n' Things in 1972, when their bandana supplier accidentally doubled their order and the expanded code was born to sell the extra colors received.
Where you wear your hankies silently signals what you’re into. The left side of the body signifies that you’re in a top or dominant role, while the right side of your body shows you’re a bottom or submissive.
Some vers folks tie hankies around their neck to show they could go either way, depending on their partner. You can also flag in both pockets or on the wrist.
Colors of the Hanky Code are silent “into” signals to people around you (who know the code). To others, it’s merely a fashion accessory. This was genius because, with a simple glance, anyone who knows what’s up can give you a knowing nod, a flirty wink or use that as an excuse to buy you a drink.
Tip: if you’re not sure whether someone is flagging, or you can’t tell the difference between pink and magenta—just ask! Most people are happy to enlighten you, and you never know…you might make a new friend(wb).😈
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Aka “handkerchief code” or “bandanna code” or “flagging.”
While “hanky code” can go by many names (including handkerchief code, bandanna code, or flagging), the term refers to a system of signaling your interest in certain sexual interests and fetishes by wearing or tucking a bandanna of a certain color into your left or right pocket and is commonly used by the gay male community and the BDSM community, according to certified sex-addiction therapist Christene Lozano, LMFT at Meraki Counseling .
“It originated during a time when open discussions about sexuality (especially between two men) were illegal, as was being gay,” explains Kryss Shane , leading LGBTQ+ expert. The term itself came from a writer from The Village Voice , who wrote about the system in early 1971, adds Shane.
As for the use of hanky code in the BDSM community, it was after the gay community had popularized the code that it became popular among BDSM practitioners, explains Lozano. Hanky code “was found by many to be an easier way to nonverbally communicate one’s sexual interests and kinks, especially in bars,” Lozano adds.
Different colors have different meanings, as does the side of your pants you wear the bandanna or scarf on. Wearing it on your left would indicate a more active role, while wearing it on the right would indicate your preference for a more passive or receptive role, explains Shane.
Also commonly called “hanky code,” it refers to “a color-coded system for gay men to show their sexual actions and interests to other gay men in a discreet way that those outside the community do not typically recognize,” says Shane.
Each color has a different meaning, with some of the popular colors in the 60+ color list including black for heavy S&M, dark blue for anal sex, light blue for oral sex, gray for bondage, red for fisting, and yellow for watersports or peeing, explains Lozano.
For more on hanky code, the Saint Foundation , an LGBTQ+ nonprofit that works to preserve important LGBTQ+ memorabilia and history, has a great in-depth explainer here .
Because of the hanky code’s origin within the gay male community as a discreet signaling system, a cis hetero woman using hanky code for reasons other than BDSM is not appropriate and is considered cultural appropriation. “While there is a lot of room in the LGBTQ+ community for cishet women (who are not signaling for BDSM), this is not a place for that,” Shane explains.
Even if your intentions are good, participating in hanky code as a cishet woman not looking for BDSM is problematic and not okay. “This is not a fashion trend or a signal that you are affirming LGBTQ+ love or that you are sex positive,” explains Shane, adding, “[Hanky code] is a language for a people who were (and some still are) unable to speak due to society’s unacceptance.”
If you would like to show your support for gay rights, there are many ways of doing so without appropriating hanky code. Look into LGBTQ+ owned companies and brands or consider donating your time and money to one of the many equality-based organizations instead, suggests Shane.
You’re free to participate in the sexual acts and fetishes named by hanky code on your own as a BDSM practitioner (or not—as Lozano points out, some colors indicated in hanky code aren’t necessarily considered BDSM-type activities only, such as rim jobs or toe-sucking), but participating in the flagging system itself is disrespectful given its history.
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