The Great Cannabis Hack: 380,000 Pot Users Impacted by Attack

A massive data breach has exposed the personal information of 380,000 cannabis users across North America after hackers infiltrated 17 state-licensed dispensary databases. The cybercriminals didn't just steal names and payment details - they absconded with customers' detailed purchase histories, including strain preferences, edible consumption patterns, and in some cases, handwritten notes about specific euphoric experiences. Security analysts discovered the hackers used a sophisticated "bud-to-browser" attack that exploited vulnerabilities in digital inventory systems, with one cybersecurity expert noting "these guys clearly studied how dispensary POS systems work while very, very high." The stolen data is already being weaponized in bizarre ways: some victims report receiving highly personalized phishing emails ("Hey [Name], remember that Blue Dream you loved last July?"), while others found their purchase histories mysteriously added to dating app profiles ("Swipe right for 420-friendly cuddles"). The most alarming development? A dark web marketplace now offers "Stoner Doxxing as a Service" where anyone can check if their ex-partner ever bought CBD lube. Dispensaries are scrambling to upgrade security, though many still rely on passwords like "DankMemes2024" written on rolling papers taped to monitors. As lawmakers demand hearings, the cannabis industry faces its first true cybersecurity wake-up call - one that's left many users paranoid in multiple senses of the word.