The Gaza Golf Doctrine

In Trump�s Gaza Golf Doctrine, centuries of conflict vanish under the gentle whack of a nine iron. The plan is simple: losers of wars surrender their beachfronts, which are instantly converted into golf courses with ocean views. Gaza, once pockmarked by shelling, becomes a championship fairway where sand traps outnumber ceasefires. Trump insists that �nobody wants to launch rockets when they�re working on their short game.� Military leaders are recast as caddies, peacekeepers as marshals shushing loud diplomats. Ceasefires are negotiated at the 19th hole, where disputes are settled over overpriced club sandwiches. Critics call it absurd, pointing out that landmines don�t double as tee markers, but Trump brushes them off: �Golf solves everything.� The satire underlines the ridiculousness of reducing human suffering to resort amenities, yet Trump�s doctrine sells it with gusto. In this warped vision, Gaza becomes less about geopolitics and more about handicaps.