The Game Sex

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The Game Sex
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Six of the Best Free Games About Sex
Rummaging through the internet's intimates in search of the best, most interesting games about doin' it.
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EDITOR'S NOTE: As is hopefully obvious from the title, this article contains some words about sexytimes, though nothing explicit. If you're too young to be reading such things or you're likely to be offended by them, avert thy eyes!
You know what is weird, IGN? How few big videogames are about sex. Everyone’s always going on about how oh, we’re all thirty years old now, all grown up, and we’re making games about fatherhood like in Papo & Yo and The Walking Dead and all that jazz, and you can honestly murder anything in games these days, like you can make the witches in Left 4 Dead into Whitney Houston , have her sing to you, and then gun her down. I mean you can even make the likeness of Hitler and Stalin as Miis and then have them play tennis against each other, but still games are all like: NO HUMPING. STRICTLY: NO HUMPING. Hitler: okay. Stalin: okay. But YOU KEEP YOUR BITS TO YOURSELVES, DICTATORS OF THE PAST.
In an attempt to sex up the interactive neonhighway like a British secret dossier, I put on a large trenchcoat and a mask and looked dashing as I rummaged through the internet’s intimates in search of the best, most interesting free games about doin’ it. Here are six of them.
I like Bind Her because it really conveys the absurdity of body parts and sex well. Like Pietro Righi Riva, who is making a game called Awkward Sex about how hard (hah! I said hard) it is to position two bodies intimately, Leon is concerned with presenting us with a tricky bodily problem. The problem in question here is a squirmy lady: sex is all elbows and knees at the best of times, and what if your lover is particularly wriggly? What if you’ve agreed you’re gonna play a little tie-up and she’s decided to be silly? Well, here’s a game about strategically placing ties on the bed to separate her body parts out so you can at least kiss her without being kicked in the face.
This game is very difficult. I do not think I am a very good lover.
Of course, the danger here could have been that Leon might have made a game that tacitly condones violence against women, but Leon is the master of context: as we look upon our lady, she is always smiling, and as she kicks a rope out of your hand she winks at you conspiratorially. Consent is the hottest dang thing.
5. Cuddlefish by Ms. Tea (SFW, not if you are a cuttlefish though)
“You have: eight arms, colour-changing skin, lust.”
Okay so my main reason for including a game about lusty cuttlefish having sex is that a) it is like a way funnier National Geographic narrated by a drunk teen David Attenborough and b) it is so well written that I laugh with delight every time I play it. Cuddlefish is short, actually teaches you something about cuttlefish, and there is something sort of poignant about the way you solve the ‘getting laid’ puzzle. Cuttlefish gonna cuttlesex.
In any case, I am along for this cuttlefish ‘ride’ because of lines like, “There are FISH here but they are not TASTY fish and are therefore BORING.” All the single fish, all the single fish, all the single fish, all the single fish - Put ya tentacles up!
If you like the educational slant, try Privates by Size Five Games or Positive Space by Merritt Kopas, an edutainment piece about the practice known as “muffing”. Both worthy entries, neither very good for work unless you work at Marie Stopes.
The best thing about being internet denizens is that we are open, at any time, to stumbling over the most vibrant of emotional objects: it’s difficult to understand why we sit there most of the time clicking on trailers and posting on forums when there’s a wealth of free, really interesting interactive experiences out there.
Tapes by Marras is about disability and sex, or, the intersection of the two. It’s one of those things that takes the image of sex being clothes-off straight-to-bed and smashes it on the floor. Tapes invites you into an intimate process: a process that is necessary, but is also erotic, and therein lies many revelations. It made me think about how many people think of a disability as a flaw, as being something that must be overcome. There is nothing in Marras’ game that the main character wants to overcome: rather, the main character values the process of the ‘tapes’ with her new naked-partner. Watching and reading the process unfold is a touching, gentle experience, and though no sex acts per se are embarked upon, you know those two are at it like rabbits when we’re not around. The tapes are the sex act. The tapes are the thing. The tapes are hot.
I know it’s sort of unfair to include more than one game by someone, but at the time of writing I wanted to include Stephen’s game Striptease and it kept crashing on startup on my rubbish MacBook. So what I really want to say is: Stephen has made more than one game about sexuality, and they are all quite bloody interesting. Stephen has a wonderful way of having you feel emotions through mechanical means, having his otherwise stark or abstract images provoke a reaction in you. A recent discovery, trawling through his games, has been sub/conscious , which is a game that messes with your computer like it is a simulation of your filthy mind, playing with your sex-obsessed brainpipes and generally having the power to really freak you out. Do not click on sub/conscious if you are at work. It will definitely, definitely get you fired.
2. Mind F*** by Anna Anthropy (SFW, however it requires a partner to play with and I’m not sure Dave from accounts will play it with you)
This list would be totally incomplete without Anna’s work. Aside from the fact that Anna has made so many games that explore the, ahem, ins and outs, of human sexuality, particularly queer sexuality, she’s been a fantastic catalyst for a whole host of people making more games about their own sexual experiences. You can play any number of her games for free, ranging from Sex Cops of Tickle City all the way to Triad , her game about how to share a bed when you’re polyamorous and have exhausted your sexual appetite for the night.
Anna’s concern with the physical space outside our computer peripherals is present in her masterpiece of sexual tension, Mind F***. Although you might have to download this baby to play it and have a sexy partner to play it with, Mind F*** is just that: you stare down your partner with the f***-me eyes until one of you hits the button. It’s all about how long you can hang on before tipping over the edge: a tantric sex sim. The physical presence of someone else is the thing here: your fun is predicated on the desire between you, the tension before you give in.
A shout out to the mysterious ‘Dildos Inc’, who did the music for this. (Heh. Dildos Inc.)
I put this game at number one simply because I can’t think of the last time someone combined these three things into one beautiful game: sex, System Shock, and the written word. System Shock and Dishonored developer Harvey Smith said it was one of his favourite games of 2012 . Porpentine ’s Twine games are the gentry in terms of sophistication. Cyberqueen has a retro computer vibe resonant of Mother’s displays on board the Nostromo in Alien. The text blinks and moves, out of your control, and you are often rendered useless for a while whilst the text does what it likes. Of course, you are the submissive in this equation: the cyberqueen will do with your body as she chooses, and the timed text is just one way of conveying that. Clever, intimidating, overbearing, atmospheric writing and a black/green stylesheet do the rest. Violence, fluids ensue. A pleasure. A real pleasure.
If you want more of these beautiful sexy things, have a look at some of the results of the Pulse Pounding, Heart Stopping Dating Sim Jam here and here . Until next time, Lao Che.
Cara Ellison is the games journalist people call when they have run out of ideas. The red phone rings; she answers hungover. Later they regret ever asking. She writes for The Guardian, Rock, Paper, Shotgun and PC Gamer, and produces games for Littleloud. You can find her on Twitter .

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As it turns out, puzzles can totally be a sexcessory.
If you thought your days of playing cards and board games were over, think again. They might not be as rated-G as the games you played when you were a little kid, but trust us when we say sex games for couples are way more fun. And if you’re thinking, “Why would my partner and I spend time playing a sex game when we can just… have sex?” Well, babes, the answer is simple: Foreplay 👏🏼.
Playing sex games can be an extremely effective way of getting turned on before getting it on. Some companies design card and board games specifically for the purpose of foreplay, including questions or tasks that require players to do or confess something naughty . Other sex games aren’t actually sex games, but rather, adult spins on the classic games you already know and love. (Think: Pictionary, Twister, and Jenga with “strip” or naughty elements.) Another huge benefit to playing sex games (as if you needed another one)? They make great date night activities . When you don’t feel like going out or spending a ton, staying home with your fave takeout and a sexy game can be just as exciting and fun. Plus, unlike real games, there aren’t really any winners or losers in the traditional sense since everyone does a lil winning, if you know what I mean. And you get to bring out your competitive side in a good way, laugh your ass off with your partner, and most likely have some really hot sex , all at the same time. Date night at the movies could never! Of course, everyone has a different idea of what’s fun. Every relationship is different and there is no one-size-fits-all sex game that’ll turn everyone on. That’s why we made sure to jam-pack this list with tons of options, so that whether you’re a trivia fiend or a puzzle pro , you’ll find something for you. So without further ado, feast your eyes on 61 sex games for couples. Try these out and thank us later.
Some of the hottest sex games are simply fun twists on the classics, and one of the best is obviously Twister. The game is pretty much foreplay all on its own, so add in an extra sexy element and you have yourself a bonafide sex game. Each time someone "loses," they have to take off an article of clothing. The first person who ends up totally nude then has to pleasure the winner any way they'd like.
BUY NOW Twister, $17.97 on Amazon.com.
Take the classic bar game (that, yes, you can buy online for less than a fancy cocktail) and sexify it yourself. Write a dirty dare on each block (like give your partner a lap dance or go down on them while they set the game back up) and whoever tries to remove the block that knocks the tower down has to perform that dare.
You know those games you played on road trips when you were a kid? Well, they can actually be used as a very sexy time passer. Whether you play in the bedroom or while driving home for the holidays together, grab a Mad Libs pad or printout and only use dirty responses for the answers.
BUY NOW Adult Mad Libs, $4.99 on Amazon.com.
Vibrating panties and wearable massagers are must-haves for anyone's goodie drawer, but why not take them out for a night on the town? Before going out to dinner, both you and your partner simply each slip on a pair and exchange remotes. When you're out to eat, whoever orgasms first (remember: discretion is key here!) has to pick up the tab for dinner. If you're having fun, you can go round two for dessert.
Buy Now Zalo Amorette Remote-Controlled Vibrating Egg, $79 on Zalousa.com.
By now there's a Monopoly version for basically every state and hobby, so it makes sense there'd be a sex version as well. Similar to the normal game, you move tokens and land on properties, but in this version, there's a lot more flirting and sexual trivia involved. Oh, and if you can't pay your rent, the other players might literally take the shirt off your back.
Buy Now Sexopoly Board Game, $32.99 on Lovehoney.com.
If you're a fan of card games and trying to master new positions, combine your two seemingly unrelated passions with this clever card deck from Lovehoney. Each card is a different Kama Sutra position, but the deck itself is pretty versatile. Play your favorite card game and then try out the position on whatever card you land/use/draw/you know the drill.
Buy Now Lovehoney Oh! Kama Sutra Memory Match Game, $5.39 on Lovehoney.com.
Whether you're with a group or just playing with your partner, you'd be surprised just how steamy a classic round of seductive storytelling can be. Set a timer for five minutes and everyone has to come up with the hottest story possible. If you're feeling really daring, read them out loud on social media and let your followers vote for their favorite...
If you're looking for a fun game to pull out when your equally adventurous friends come over, Couplicious is definitely a must-have. The game is a mix of trivia, role-play, and confessions, but in a fun way that's entirely enjoyable from start to finish.
Buy Now Couplicious Sex Game, $34.99 on Amazon.com.
Hi, hello, and welcome to the world of naughty puzzles. These bad boys aren't your grandma's jigsaws, but they're perfect for a hangover day or date night where you want to play a game but also want to keep things majorly chill.
Buy Now Men in Bed Sexy Bradley Puzzle, $8 on Lovehoney.com.
Marla Renee Stewart, sexpert for Lovers , recommends this game where you take turns touching your partner's body, with the catch that you can’t touch their chest/breasts, butt, or genitals. “Make sure your partner gives feedback with only the sounds of ‘mmm’ and ‘ahh’ to express to you how they feel,” Stewart explains.
Stewart also suggests making an agreement with your partner to have sex for 30 days in a row. For inspo, you can pull a card from a deck every day to do that position and keep it exciting.
Buy Now Month of Sex Card Game, $14.50, Loversstores.com
Use Nutella, whipped cream, and sliced strawberries to decorate your partner’s body like a cake, as Katherin Winnick, Sex Coach at LetsTalkSex.net explains. Start with the bottom layer and spread Nutella on first, then spray whipped cream, and place a half strawberry on top. The fun comes when you eat it off. Try to lick your partner clean to perfection, Winnick suggests.
If you wanna play a game with sex dice without having to pay for separate sex dice, this is a good freebie from Winnick. To play, all you have to do is roll the dice (you can use more than one or two, too) to see how many minutes your partner should give you oral for. You can swap and take turns to make sure everyone gets a chance.
Winnick suggests going onto any online sex shop and just start clicking around with your eyes closed. Your partner makes sure that you’re actually clicking on toys (and not just random “FAQ” or “shipping info” text). Click around until your tenth click, and buy whatever toy you land on. Test the toy with your partner as soon as you get it.
This game, suggested by Winnick, is basically karaoke, but sexy, and with some lighthearted pressure. Sing your partner’s favorite song while holding your partner’s breast or penis. Every time you hesitate or forget a lyric, you must stimulate your partner. “As soon as you remember the lyrics, stop stimulating, and start singing again,” Winnick suggests. If you wanna keep playing and make things even more challenging, go deeper in your archives and get out the deep cuts for rounds two and three (and so forth).
“Sketch out your sex fantasy , sex position , or a sex toy you want to try,” Winnick suggests, and have your partner guess what it is. If they guess correctly, you try it out. If they guess wrong, they have to go ahead and draw.
Yes, something as simple as cooking together can also be game-ified into something sexy! Winnick says to get naked and prepare some food together, like chicken or vegetables in the oven. Set a timer, and have sex until the timer is up. As soon as it goes off, you can then get up and enjoy your meal. The fun comes in trying to time your foreplay juuuuust right to align with the timer.
Use flavored lubricant in four spots on your body and tell your partner to find all the spots, suggests Jordan D’Nelle Jones, a women’s sexual health educator and founder of the Vaginas, Vulvas and Vibrators podcast . This game allows you to control the foreplay and explore areas and erogenous zones you might otherwise not get to focus on. If you want to be even more playful, Jones says you can also tell your partner that you put it on five areas and watch as they scratch their head and lick you all over until they figure out which ones.
Experiment with both cold and hot temperatures, as sexual health expert Ashley Townes, PhD suggests. You can add some ice cubes in a bowl, put one in your mouth and let it melt a little, then kiss or tease your partn
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