The Dildo Drone

The Dildo Drone
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The high-tech solution for do-it-yourselfers.
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General Assignment Reporter, HuffPost
The must-have gizmo for multitasking masturbators is penetrating the Internet.
According to the promotional video below, the Dildo Drone is hands-free, allowing users to simultaneously indulge in other pleasures, like eating burgers and drinking beer.
In our universe, it's so real because we so so so want it to be. But in the real world, sadly, it's a gag perpetrated by Michael Krivicka, aka @whoisthebaldguy . He also brought us the Dildo Selfie Stick .
General Assignment Reporter, HuffPost

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In a viral video that has since been exposed as a joke, dildo imagineer Michael Krivicka advertises a flying sex toy known as the Dildo Drone , which, as you can imagine, is more or less a bright pink dildo attached to a pink and purple drone.
Drones have all sorts of non-lethal uses, like instant deliveries , pot transportation , getting cool film shots , and starring in murky surveillance litigation subplots on The Good Wife . But Krivicka dreamed of better: a sex toy attached to a drone that frees up the user's hands for practical things like food, alcohol, your phone, the TV remote, a joint...the possibilities are endless.
As Jenni Ruiza, the woman starring in the video , demonstrates, the push of a button gently (or not so gently, I guess, depending on what you're into) guides the dildo drone to its remote, which you can summon near your preferred penetrative zone while your hands are free to, in her case, eat a burger and drink a beer.
"Now I can enjoy three of my favorite things at exactly the same time!" she exclaims.
Even though this particular prototype is a joke , the idea of delivering a sex toy to one's bits, while it sounds convenient, also seems like a lot of trouble.
I, personally, am not very dextrous with remote-controlled things. I can barely get those little remote controlled planes to do my bidding, so it seems highly unlikely that I'd be able to ground this flying dildo on a particularly sensitive landing strip.
Also, while it's pretty clear that the drone simply flies to where the remote tells it to go, how does one initiate the requisite movement/thrusting for a dildo to be fun in a hands-free fashion? We already have one not great or particularly well-functioning self-thrusting dildo on the market. Do we need a higher-tech version of the same poor functionality?
On the other hand, there's just something sort of oddly comforting about a dildo that flies around the house following you, always ready to be at your service. Like a loyal, robotic sex puppy. Plus, the gusts of air from the propellers make you look perennially sexy and windswept!
You can check out the video in full below.
Images: Andrew Zaeh/Bustle; dildoeverything /Youtube (4)

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Yup, pretty self-explanatory ... and NSFW.
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Arts and Culture Reporter, HuffPost
Warning: This article contains imagery of a flying dildo and may not be suitable for work environments.
Ladies, do you like your shlongs long, skinny, hot pink and flying toward you at an alarming speed? If so, may we humbly present the holy grail of futuristic sex toys: The Dildo Drone.
Yes, that's right, a Dildo Drone -- as in a dildo that enters you like a lithe, stealthy fighter plane, only more sensually, because manning your own dildo is so 2015. The Dildo Drone lets women lay back and relax while it swoops in for some airborne penetration. Most importantly, the Dildo Drone promises women the one thing they've always wanted: to pleasure themselves while eating a burger and drinking a beer. Amen.
The product is the brainchild of Michael Krivicka and, sadly, at this point, it's pure fantasy. As he explained to Dazed Digital : "I like being the guy who comes up with these fantasy products. But that is as far as I want to take it." Alas, it's probably for the best. I wouldn't want to see one of these flying sex machines veer off track.
See the full (fake) advertisement for the Dildo Drone below and, if you're feeling frisky, check out Krivicka's previous commercial for a Dildo Selfie Stick here.
Arts and Culture Reporter, HuffPost

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