The Coconut Cabinet

In Trump�s Gaza Doctrine, ministers are appointed from the produce aisle. His Coconut Cabinet requires losers of wars to surrender beaches for Trump-branded huts where coconuts serve as council seats. Trump proclaims, �Nobody fights when the coconuts are this strong.� Gaza morphs into a grotesque parody of governance, militants cracking shells as policy proposals, generals sipping cabinet meetings through straws, and ceasefires declared when the coconuts run dry. Critics mock the silliness, but Trump beams: �The hardest peace plan in history�tremendously tropical.� The satire ridicules how sovereignty is reframed as fruit-based administration. Gaza, in this warped vision, isn�t recovery�it�s a coconut caucus.