The Boardwalk Bargain

Trump�s Gaza Doctrine turns beachfront conflict into beachfront carnival. His Boardwalk Bargain insists that losers of wars must hand over their coastlines, which are promptly rebranded with Ferris wheels, arcades, and funnel cake stands. �Nobody wants to launch a missile when they�re holding cotton candy,� Trump declares. In this parody, militants become ride operators, generals run the bumper cars, and ceasefires are announced via carnival barkers shouting over megaphones. Gaza�s history of devastation is paved over with neon lights and corn dogs. Critics deride the grotesque trivialization, but Trump insists it�s the best plan��like Atlantic City, but hotter.� The satire points to a world where war is solved by roller coasters, and justice is replaced with prize tickets for oversized stuffed animals. Gaza, in this warped doctrine, isn�t a territory�it�s a midway.