The Blackmail-Worthy Affair
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The Blackmail-Worthy Affair
The blackmailer is depending on your fears and paranoia.
You may call it ‘blackmail’ , cyber-bullying or something else, like sextortion . When someone threatens revealing the affair, it keeps you in an unsettled state of anxious fear. Whether or not you participated voluntarily or involuntarily becomes a moot point when you are threatened with exposure and the shame it brings.
While in that state of fear, you’re vulnerable to the person threatening you and their demands. Although unpleasant, such people exist . There are some sick people who look for others to exploit, and affairs are another way to exploit.
They look for victims that they can leverage and take advantage of, whether male or female. Some operate alone, while others operate in teams. What you may have thought of as hot date for a one night stand may actually be part of their ‘set up’.
With the technology provided by computers and the internet, blackmail threats are more intimidating than in previous generations. In the past, it was about pictures.
Now those pictures can be targeted to your job, family, friends, etc. If your job is in a sensitive position, you’re even more vulnerable.
You can easily be trapped under such conditions. If you are in a situation like this, you will need to short-circuit the fear. Let your spouse know what is going on. When the affair is used as blackmail, you will need your spouse’s support.
The blackmailer is a bigger enemy than your spouse. It will take the two of you together to combat the harassment and threats that come from such situations.
You may be scared, yet by facing the fear of exposure, you take away the power they blackmailers have over you. The blackmailers are counting on your shame and guilt to keep you from telling your spouse.
They want you isolated and anxious. When you take steps that remove the emotional pressure, they loose leverage.
You trying to keep things secret is what gives them power. Shame gives them power. They will use that power to dominate and control you.
When you short circuit that power, they no longer control you. They want you to live in fear of the ‘worst that can happen’. Yes, facing the fear can be messy, yet it is much less messy than trying to keep the secret and hide.
(Note: If it is a life threatening situation, the dynamics are different. In life threatening situations, the preservation of life is the #1 priority rather than honesty. In such situations, getting to a safe place if the first order of business, then you can work on the honesty, etc.)
For more help regarding affair recovery for cheaters, check out the video, “ Help for the Cheater: Starting the Road to Recovery “. The video shows you what you need to do along with why that’s important.
well I saw that at first in the way this was “SET UP” ….now my husband says he has had enough …FOR HIM …in other words he is not wanting to keep the children from adultery away from exposure….doesn’t seem to care much about how this will effect our children …adults but still at home due to our faith based perspective…or how it may effect his employment….TRUSTWORTHINESS being a very BIG issue in his field.
So he believes his choices still are not anything that effects others …or that it is just ‘too bad’ ..
I ascribe to an honest and open life …this adultery has put us all in a very difficult situation to say the least .
I am beginning to give up the idea that he will change without some really drastic ‘something’ happening that effects HIM in a way that matters TO HIM
Sad…I am more than ever just turned to continue to study and grow in my faith …God is worthy to be followed and sought despite whatever those we love may do to try to destroy our hearts …I have to find my sustanance in the Lord
This is no gib statement ..I am broken hearted as I see my husband cares so little about those he was supposed to care the most about ….still living independently in regard to his choices of where and how he spends his time , energy and focus….I am sad to have this be what my daughters have to see….my son is not at home…
I am trying to utilize what ways I learn will be helpful to them learn what to look for in a spouse should one every come along ….It is hard because my husband was exhibiting such good qualities in the beginning …caring , fairminded…teachable and eager to know more about how his relationship with the Lord would grow …That all changed with his career change…his mom’s death and our first child all converging at the same period of time.
He has had no interest in character changes….sadly he believes he is really a good person.
[…] OCTOBER 12, 2012Â BYÂ JEFF MURRAHÂ […]
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Copyright © 2022 Jeffrey D. Murrah • Restore The Family. Contact Us: jdm@restorethefamily.com | Phone: 512-842-7147 (Central/Texas Time)
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Art teacher Sheba ( Cate Blanchett ) falls for a charming 15-year-old student and into a sordid affair in Notes on a Scandal — but a fellow teacher (Judi Dench) uses her knowledge of their liaisons to blackmail Sheba into a friendship.
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Money, it seems, really can’t buy love. But in the case of Dubai’s ruler, Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid al-Maktoum , and his sixth wife, Princess Haya, it can sure buy a lot of other stuff, including the silence of her secret lover.
In what is being dubbed as the biggest divorce settlement in U.K. history, the newly divorced sheikh was ordered to pay some $734 million to his estranged wife in a case that has lifted the veil on what the super rich do in their spare time.
Testimony, which can only now be reported under British court rules, suggests that Princess Haya, 47, who happens to be the sister of King Abdullah II of Jordan, “borrowed” a cool $7.5 million from her then 10-year-old daughter’s trust account to pay off her bodyguard, a former British soldier, with whom she was conducting an illicit affair. The princess’ security team had apparently blackmailed her to keep the tryst under wraps. “I was scared and that was the money available in that account,” the princess told the court, according to British press accounts published Tuesday.
The sheikh , 72, divorced his youngest wife when he discovered the affair, which led to the court proceedings. Calling their life “truly opulent” and remarking on the “unprecedented standard of living enjoyed by these parties,” the presiding judge ordered the wealthy ruler to pay the princess millions to continue to enjoy the lifestyle to which she and her children have become accustomed.
A large part of the record settlement is for security for the princess and her children—to protect them from the sheikh, who apparently considered her infidelity a capital offense. “Most importantly in this regard, and absolutely uniquely, the main threat they face is from HH himself not from outside sources,” the judge said, referring to the sheikh as His Highness. “This is compounded by the full weight of the state that he has available to him as seen by his ability to make use of the Pegasus software, which is only available to governments.” The sheikh used the software to hack the phones of the princess and her lawyers .
The judge also scolded the blackmailers, who have not yet been charged with any crime, saying, “This was clearly a most unsatisfactory episode. I realize I have not heard from the alleged blackmailers, but nobody should be blackmailed and HRH must have been very frightened at this point.”
The couple separated in 2019 when the sheikh discovered his wife’s infidelity. Haya took the kids, now age 14 and 9, to the U.K. While married, the ruler provided the princess with an annual $110 million budget for household expenses and nearly $12 million in allowance for each of the children. Haya originally asked for nearly $2 billion in maintenance.
The court saw holiday snapshots of the family on their $400 million super yacht, in addition to vacation pictures from their collection of villas and estates as well as shots of their custom-made Boeing 747 and matching helicopters, all staffed by around 80 servants. The court was also told how one summer, the family of four spent more than $2 million—on strawberries.
While the high-dollar payout would surely have satisfied most divorcées—especially considering the circumstances of her infidelity—Haya was said to be disappointed not to have her haute couture wardrobe, valued at about $110 million, or her $26 million jewelry collection returned to her from Dubai. The court was shown a photo of her walk-in jewelry vault, which she said had been stripped of the good stuff, leaving around $25,000 in “costume jewelry” that the judge did offer to order returned. According to press reports, he asked her if there would be “any point” to do so, to which she said, simply, “no.”
She will also not get her stable of racehorses, but instead was awarded some $6.6 million to “buy a few reasonable horses and run them for several years.”
Her lawyers had insisted that travel funds be allocated for the children, which the court awarded to the tune of $7 million a year, plus an additional $1.3 million for unspecified “leisure” activities. An additional $250,000 was earmarked for animals, including horses and ponies, and $130,000 for the children’s private tutors.
A request for the couple’s son Zayed, age 9, for money to purchase three new automobiles—in addition to the one he already owns—was denied, with the judge telling the princess, “I do consider it an artificial edifice to talk of children of the ages of these children owning motor vehicles. Moreover, Zayed’s precious motor vehicle has now finally been returned to him.”
Admitting that the circumstances of the divorce were highly unusual, the judge applauded the princess for wanting her children to have a “normal life,” adding that in his judgment he did his best “to a conclusion as to what is reasonable while remembering that the exceptional wealth and remarkable standard of living enjoyed by these children during the marriage takes this case entirely out of the ordinary.”
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A mother-of-two who had a passionate ten-year affair with a married primary school deputy head was today convicted of attempting to blackmail him when he ended the relationship.
Raven-haired Rupa Parke, 48, threatened to reveal intimate details of the affair to Roger Bridgeman's wife unless he handed her £3,000.
Sri Lankan-born Parke, who is also married, sought revenge after receiving a 'cold' letter from her lover telling her their 'friendship' was over.
Days later she wrote back, saying: 'I can make you live in the dog house because every year you have been giving me Valentine's cards, birthday cards and special thank you cards for being with you.
'You sent me text messages saying "Hot curry, hot lips" and "Great curry, personal touch".'
It went on: 'Now all the cards and text messages I am going to hand to your wife Jackie's hand.
'If you want to avoid making this trouble you have to pay me £3,000 before the end of February.'
However, Mrs Bridgeman had already learned of the affair and her husband took the letter straight to police, who arrested Parke.
Ipswich Crown Court heard Parke, a cleaner whose husband h
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